She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead

I don't like how fabulously enthusiastic my blog has gotten. For goodness sake, I must be coming across as a mental soft head going on about Jesus like all my problems are solved and the world is made of sunshine and flowers. Well, it's not true and I can't deceive you anymore. Even Kat(i)e gets pissed off and today I want to tell you about that.

The first annoying thing is that I had a 'fabulous' thought on the bus about this blog and I forgot it. I can remember that it was definitely AMAZING but can I recall what it was? No.

The second annoying thing is that I don't have the right to be annoyed. I had a great day, saw and spoke to loads of lovely friends, went to the ILO for lunch(!), had wonderful conversations all about the future and hope and faith and empowerment and all sorts of stuff; work was even cool and I felt like I was almost making a difference. On top of that this past week rocked out and I had lots of encouragement and drive and passion and vision and what not. Great stuff. Then, suddenly, no.

I suppose sometimes it just gets too much. When God is great but He is not in your face it is easy to focus on the world and let Him get blurry in the background. That doesn't have to take very long, we're not talking years or weeks or days, I am vulnerable enough that even after a couple of hours of despondence or laziness; a stupid rom com (they are definitely emotional pornography); a song on the radio or a bad Facebook moment, I am all about humanity and it's failed promises. It's so easy for stuff like that to get you down and make you feel worth less than you are with a big fat "L" plastered across your face. Or angry with a big fat fist plastered across someone else's. Or possibly a combo of the both.

Oh happy day, I remembered! Let's reference it back to Screwtape shall we. Natural undulations leave us going up and down (I like to see it as having a sinusoidal spirit) making it feel sometimes like things have gone bad when really it is just the seasons of life. In this knowledge however, the downs do not have the power to keep us from the wonderful state that is a relationship with God - who by the way is always true to his promises. Do not despair, recall Ecclesiastes and remember too that one day perfect we will be.

[I am also annoyed by how sickly sweet this entry has gone and gotten when all I wanted was to moan :-S]