I've been sitting by a window all day, watching the snow in my garden melt at an incredible pace and hearing birds chirp. There have been foxes and blackbirds and all kinds of water dripping. It feels like the first day of spring.
Straight after yesterday, the deepest winteryness I've seen in England for years.
It was quite fabulous. I got hardly any work done (plumber in the house meant I couldn't relax but at least I have hot showers now!) but I did get some hope. Oddly. The little pieces of snow, making magic happen one piece at a time. Altogether causing big change though insignificant alone. Lovely.
Also, due to the snow I had my evening plans canceled which meant that when quite out of the blue an old friend from Geneva was in the city for 'one night only' we could hang out. Barely spoke for ages and now he is moving to Exeter to be a marine! What a small world... we went to my friends's place for a big community meal and had some really cool chats. I do like last minute.
Whenever things like that happen I feel like God is doing something. Haven't a clue what but got to be something, all them pieces falling together like that. Could be quite invisible or abstracted but still, something...
I want to get on with my work as I am making snowflakes progresses and hoping it will all add up, so I shall be off. But what with yesterday feeling like the start of "something" cool and now the newness of spring, I have decided to post this poem I wrote called "New Beginnings". It was written for Michelle in Geneva as a YAGs auction item. Offered October 2007, theme picked March 2008 and I got it in the post just before Christmas.
New beginnings
So clear in the spring
All life gives birth, flowers from earth
Babies from… who knows where?
Stork or cabbage or something less fair
Each little-one angels watch over in care
New beginnings
The start of a story
Hope in the journey from Hades to glory
Oh what a joy to watch how He plays
Breath-baited angels run errands and praise
But none comprehend His mysterious ways
New beginnings
When a soul turns from darkness to light
As the son rises, the end of the night
Angels in heaven are celebrating
One little lost sheep and all that rejoicing
Oh what a start, rescued by a King
New beginnings
The daily expression
As we come to God with a heartfelt confession
Obedience blown on a whim or in fear
Fallen angels whispering in our ear
In forgiveness renewal, the slate wiped clear
New beginnings
Oh holy night
In cold winter climes we celebrate life
Humbly born into earthly frustration
While voices in heaven sing of salvation
The angels can see He's the Hope of the Nations
New beginnings
That old metaphor
Each telling a story of the Creator
As He converts his love into life
To make it spring up and echo the cry
Of thousands of angels high up in the sky
Rejoicing eternity that began in a word
In the beginning was God.
Showing posts with label YAGs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label YAGs. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Grace Killers
I was going to write this Monday, then I started another post and got waylaid. Then I was finishing that today when it hit me - if I wrote this first it could be a series...! Don't we all like series?
Anyway. After my questions that originated in the last post I heard a really cool sermon (was going to put a link in to hear it online but it has not been uploaded yet), did some really good chatting with people that cleared up my insecurities some and got a bit of lovely encouragement too, quite unrelated to blog. That was nice. I think maybe, as one person facebooked (as in the verb 'to facebook') me after reading, I have to be able to see the things that are important to keep hold of and let go of the rest. I am trying to put love for others and myself as priority (equally if that is poss), as that is one thing He defo told me (in Paris no less), and hope that it covers all the bases.
I love how stereotypical it is to go to church and get all recharged with what you need to hear; but at the same time it does make sense. I don't mean the whole, go all week without God and get a hit on Sunday to get you through the start of the next week thing, but I do think that fellowship really keeps you battling onwards and as such: yay for mid-week meetings! Anyway, off the point.
The point is, what I got from the sermon made for something cool to share and if I mention it now I can refer back to it in future blogs. T'was about Grace. T'was all good. My fave bit, which I will serialise if I can find examples of all the failings in my own life (shouldn't be too hard!) was the list of grace killers - things that stop you from bring able to "grow" grace in your own life. They are pretty useful so I'll tell you them:
- Traditionalism
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Rules Mentality
- Negativity
- Critical Spirit
- Control Mentality
- Perfectionism
- Competitiveness (oooops!)
- Pettiness
So. They all pretty much jumped out at me but the last one was relevant to the whole 'what to change?' question. As far as pettiness goes, if others are being petty, don't return it with pettiness. If you are holding onto something petty in yourself at the expense of showing love, let it go. That is not me telling you, I'm talking to myself in the third person. Since I wrote last time about identity and what to hold onto, I've found this a pretty helpful reference to know what not to be like.
Oh, something hilarious to share. Well, I thought it was funny. I was talking about hoping to have a small 'party' this week and someone said "I know what a party at Kat(i)e's is going to be like, it'll probably turn into a prayer meeting!" I am not boasting about holiness, I am laughing at the irony of it all. Actually, let's just venture off into praise corner for a minute. They said this last night (Tues) and it was after I had lead the YAGs meeting on 'Praise is a Powerful Weapon'. Which is true and don't forget it and I may well put the notes up here as a way to save writing a post one day. Anyway. Point is, once upon a time (and you may think this is a bad thing) a party at Kat(i)e's would have been far from reputed to turn into a prayer meeting. Now, I want to make it clear that I am super cool and my parties are great fun (even if the last one I had involved scones) but still, talk about a direction change, eh?
So. Lots of things that kill grace. One thing that builds us up. Praise lots, nitpick less.
See you next time for a mention about Unrealistic Expectations; or else something about how I am going to win the blog off if it kills me! (Did you get the joke I made there...?!?)
Anyway. After my questions that originated in the last post I heard a really cool sermon (was going to put a link in to hear it online but it has not been uploaded yet), did some really good chatting with people that cleared up my insecurities some and got a bit of lovely encouragement too, quite unrelated to blog. That was nice. I think maybe, as one person facebooked (as in the verb 'to facebook') me after reading, I have to be able to see the things that are important to keep hold of and let go of the rest. I am trying to put love for others and myself as priority (equally if that is poss), as that is one thing He defo told me (in Paris no less), and hope that it covers all the bases.
I love how stereotypical it is to go to church and get all recharged with what you need to hear; but at the same time it does make sense. I don't mean the whole, go all week without God and get a hit on Sunday to get you through the start of the next week thing, but I do think that fellowship really keeps you battling onwards and as such: yay for mid-week meetings! Anyway, off the point.
The point is, what I got from the sermon made for something cool to share and if I mention it now I can refer back to it in future blogs. T'was about Grace. T'was all good. My fave bit, which I will serialise if I can find examples of all the failings in my own life (shouldn't be too hard!) was the list of grace killers - things that stop you from bring able to "grow" grace in your own life. They are pretty useful so I'll tell you them:
- Traditionalism
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Rules Mentality
- Negativity
- Critical Spirit
- Control Mentality
- Perfectionism
- Competitiveness (oooops!)
- Pettiness
So. They all pretty much jumped out at me but the last one was relevant to the whole 'what to change?' question. As far as pettiness goes, if others are being petty, don't return it with pettiness. If you are holding onto something petty in yourself at the expense of showing love, let it go. That is not me telling you, I'm talking to myself in the third person. Since I wrote last time about identity and what to hold onto, I've found this a pretty helpful reference to know what not to be like.
Oh, something hilarious to share. Well, I thought it was funny. I was talking about hoping to have a small 'party' this week and someone said "I know what a party at Kat(i)e's is going to be like, it'll probably turn into a prayer meeting!" I am not boasting about holiness, I am laughing at the irony of it all. Actually, let's just venture off into praise corner for a minute. They said this last night (Tues) and it was after I had lead the YAGs meeting on 'Praise is a Powerful Weapon'. Which is true and don't forget it and I may well put the notes up here as a way to save writing a post one day. Anyway. Point is, once upon a time (and you may think this is a bad thing) a party at Kat(i)e's would have been far from reputed to turn into a prayer meeting. Now, I want to make it clear that I am super cool and my parties are great fun (even if the last one I had involved scones) but still, talk about a direction change, eh?
So. Lots of things that kill grace. One thing that builds us up. Praise lots, nitpick less.
See you next time for a mention about Unrealistic Expectations; or else something about how I am going to win the blog off if it kills me! (Did you get the joke I made there...?!?)
Sunday, July 6, 2008
F'd in the A
I am so happy today! Despite the rain which is incessant and totally got in the way of my swim in the lake. Yesterday my weather prayer was SO successful that this morning I decided to take my swim suit with me, rather than my umbrella... I ended up walking down the street with a towel over my head!
Still. Nice lunch, met some lovely new people at church 'fya know what I mean...?! ;-) Enjoyed playing the piano in the service; I have been doing that for a few months now, approx every other week and am SO lovin' it. It's really helped me with my ability and confidence and been one of the more blatant blessings of life here.
What other ones are there? Well, getting away from the UK to be honest was a much needed and welcome break. Then there is my pimp place to live (I have a rooftop pool!) and wonderfully slow working week (4-20 hours long during the afternoon and some weekends) which is now totally at an end for the summer. So many fabulous opportunities for trips and activities like skiing, rafting and other fun stuff came along too. The friends, who I can't begin to express how much I love and value, play a MAJOR part: at the YAGs group (I'll expound another time, needless to say a silly Christian acronym but I have heard worse!), church and the ones I met in trains and clubs too - love you guys!
I have also learnt A LOT. God aside, one obvious thing is French, which though not at all perfect is much better. My dear friend who teaches me for free and diligently sees me every week over a lovely soirée has really taught me a lot, both linguistically and spiritually. Others have shown me a bit of Russian too (I can ask where the toilets are, recite poetry and say "I want to have your babies"!) which will come in handy when I adopt my Eastern European baby. Well, it might not. I mean there are lots of languages 'over there' and I probably won't get a Russian child since they actually have population problems and, as Erkki says, "You have to learn Finnish to understand Finnish" which I think is a principle that can be applied to most languages.
I digress.
Sometimes I feel like I am in a stream of consciousness. I ought to read that book that Carolyn told be about (please remind me) but I would struggle 'cause I'd then want to write about it afterwards/as I went along and so the vicious cycle continues. I do feel a bit like Russell Brand when he says his life is a "serious of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents" but where you replace the word 'embarrassing' with 'mediocre' and 'telling' with 'boring [people] with'... And perhaps 'people' with 'my parents, my sister and MS twice a day'. Hmmm.
I have a bit of an obsession with remembering things though, hence the stream-like flow. I sometimes need to boycott journaling 'cause else it takes over and I do literally spend my life writing about it. (I mostly got the blog to force me to check spelling and grammar.) This is also exemplified (word choice?) in things such as filling up my phone Inbox and then getting a new one! And I keep all the receipts and labels I ever get; if you saw my room back home you might wonder what all the drawers and boxes are full of. Well, now you know!
But, slowly, that is being dealt with. For a start I no longer print receipts at cash machines - breakthrough! Funny story: when I told Darryl I 'need' to keep receipts he took it very to heart and when he ordered his lunch gave me his food ticket too. Sweet. I was like, Darryl, I don't need yours.... but, well, now I do 'cause it's a keepsake! Ha ha!
So, I just came clean about one of my biggest oddities. I didn't even mean to, I really am good at digressing aren't I?! I suppose I see it as one of the bigger blessing from this year; freedom from shit like that. I don't think I could do it on my own strength and I see little point in trying now I know God is much better. It's like, I could just about cope and be really argggh or I could give up, move on and reach higher heights. Why take 40 years to get across a 40 day desert? He is in general responsible for everything so I may as well let him be in total control and do it really really well. I have 40kg to bring all my stuff back, which is a lovely biblical number, let's see what God can do...!
Oh and meaning of title? Well, that is a legendary phrase that my student used when she had done something really well (if you don't get it don't ask, you don't want to know) and seeing as she got a 6/7 for her maths mark today I am pretty pleased. I was going for the 7 but hey, she wasn't even passing last year and this way I get to not be proud!
So, another blessing from my time abroad. That and the Salvation. Shouldn't forget Salvation... Which by the way has 7 meanings from original Jewish (I think I mean Hebrew right?) or perhaps Greek: saved, protected, liberated, preserved, free from harm, complete, without defect. I like these all.
Shit old life: F'd that in the A. Even better than a good exam result in my humble opinion... Sorry if it got too personal; I think perhaps that green tea does, after all, have caffeine in it (I know you told me sis but I didn't want to believe you and I could not see it on the box). Whoops.
Yet still mostly Whoop!!
Still. Nice lunch, met some lovely new people at church 'fya know what I mean...?! ;-) Enjoyed playing the piano in the service; I have been doing that for a few months now, approx every other week and am SO lovin' it. It's really helped me with my ability and confidence and been one of the more blatant blessings of life here.
What other ones are there? Well, getting away from the UK to be honest was a much needed and welcome break. Then there is my pimp place to live (I have a rooftop pool!) and wonderfully slow working week (4-20 hours long during the afternoon and some weekends) which is now totally at an end for the summer. So many fabulous opportunities for trips and activities like skiing, rafting and other fun stuff came along too. The friends, who I can't begin to express how much I love and value, play a MAJOR part: at the YAGs group (I'll expound another time, needless to say a silly Christian acronym but I have heard worse!), church and the ones I met in trains and clubs too - love you guys!
I have also learnt A LOT. God aside, one obvious thing is French, which though not at all perfect is much better. My dear friend who teaches me for free and diligently sees me every week over a lovely soirée has really taught me a lot, both linguistically and spiritually. Others have shown me a bit of Russian too (I can ask where the toilets are, recite poetry and say "I want to have your babies"!) which will come in handy when I adopt my Eastern European baby. Well, it might not. I mean there are lots of languages 'over there' and I probably won't get a Russian child since they actually have population problems and, as Erkki says, "You have to learn Finnish to understand Finnish" which I think is a principle that can be applied to most languages.
I digress.
Sometimes I feel like I am in a stream of consciousness. I ought to read that book that Carolyn told be about (please remind me) but I would struggle 'cause I'd then want to write about it afterwards/as I went along and so the vicious cycle continues. I do feel a bit like Russell Brand when he says his life is a "serious of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents" but where you replace the word 'embarrassing' with 'mediocre' and 'telling' with 'boring [people] with'... And perhaps 'people' with 'my parents, my sister and MS twice a day'. Hmmm.
I have a bit of an obsession with remembering things though, hence the stream-like flow. I sometimes need to boycott journaling 'cause else it takes over and I do literally spend my life writing about it. (I mostly got the blog to force me to check spelling and grammar.) This is also exemplified (word choice?) in things such as filling up my phone Inbox and then getting a new one! And I keep all the receipts and labels I ever get; if you saw my room back home you might wonder what all the drawers and boxes are full of. Well, now you know!
But, slowly, that is being dealt with. For a start I no longer print receipts at cash machines - breakthrough! Funny story: when I told Darryl I 'need' to keep receipts he took it very to heart and when he ordered his lunch gave me his food ticket too. Sweet. I was like, Darryl, I don't need yours.... but, well, now I do 'cause it's a keepsake! Ha ha!
So, I just came clean about one of my biggest oddities. I didn't even mean to, I really am good at digressing aren't I?! I suppose I see it as one of the bigger blessing from this year; freedom from shit like that. I don't think I could do it on my own strength and I see little point in trying now I know God is much better. It's like, I could just about cope and be really argggh or I could give up, move on and reach higher heights. Why take 40 years to get across a 40 day desert? He is in general responsible for everything so I may as well let him be in total control and do it really really well. I have 40kg to bring all my stuff back, which is a lovely biblical number, let's see what God can do...!
Oh and meaning of title? Well, that is a legendary phrase that my student used when she had done something really well (if you don't get it don't ask, you don't want to know) and seeing as she got a 6/7 for her maths mark today I am pretty pleased. I was going for the 7 but hey, she wasn't even passing last year and this way I get to not be proud!
So, another blessing from my time abroad. That and the Salvation. Shouldn't forget Salvation... Which by the way has 7 meanings from original Jewish (I think I mean Hebrew right?) or perhaps Greek: saved, protected, liberated, preserved, free from harm, complete, without defect. I like these all.
Shit old life: F'd that in the A. Even better than a good exam result in my humble opinion... Sorry if it got too personal; I think perhaps that green tea does, after all, have caffeine in it (I know you told me sis but I didn't want to believe you and I could not see it on the box). Whoops.
Yet still mostly Whoop!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
JC 7-11
Like JC 24/7, but less radical.
I was having a conversation with a friend today about a secular educational trip thingy they did called JC24. I though it sounded amusingly religious and thus ensued a comical chat about JC huit à huit (the French type) and, far more fluid, JC 7-11.
But don't you find that it is a very familiar concept? Or is that just me. I mean, sometimes when I am alone with myself, and God is there but it is too hard to pay attention what with all the distracting temptations of mind take precedent, I am being a JC 7-11. Open in the majority, definitely convenient but 1/3rd of the time I have to take a break.
Something else I discovered today.... Not all Oreos are chocolate covered! Now, call me naïve but shouldn't they be?
So that is my thought for the moment. Why not go all the way and have the chocolate coating? That is how they are meant to be and how they are at their best. It's still an Oreo without the thick layer of chocolatey goodness but it's not nearly as tasty. And doesn't it say "Taste and see that the Lord is good."? [OK, this only makes sense if you have read this.]
There are so many areas of my existence that Christian living has not even had the chance to be expressed. I mean, Britain for a start! I have spent a sum total of 22 hours there since 'the change' and who knows what it will be like to move back and let It permeate my life there. I haven't even driven a car as a Christian yet. Maybe I'll be more careful...?
I hope so.
Yesterday was the first day of the non-contract period of my life here. Bizarrely I realised I feel suddenly different. I feel like I am a visitor. A very happy visitor indeed who cares a lot about the people here, wants to come back for holidays and loves the fact that she is in town for the summer; but a visitor that is thinking quite a lot about the colour of her kitchen at home. That's the thing, I know I will be going back and, whilst unexpected, I am glad that I feel like I will be at home in England. There was the risk that given how much my life had changed whilst here, I was going to feel out of place on return. Yesterday at YAGs we had an international evening where we each took a dish (I chose fruit salad, as in garden party... tenuous but I have tried and failed at scones once already!) and shared a little about our country of origin. After all the Americans, Canadians and South Africans had sung their national anthems I felt like we should have a turn, so me and Sara led them in the first verse of 'God Save The Queen'! I tell you what, I was kinda proud. (Not of anything in particular, but isn't that the nature of pride?!) I definitely still got my Brit :-)
So, I am excited and confident about le prochain chapitre. How can I not be, with the Oreos (chocolated coated I pray) waiting for me. And a 24-hour ASDA...
I was having a conversation with a friend today about a secular educational trip thingy they did called JC24. I though it sounded amusingly religious and thus ensued a comical chat about JC huit à huit (the French type) and, far more fluid, JC 7-11.
But don't you find that it is a very familiar concept? Or is that just me. I mean, sometimes when I am alone with myself, and God is there but it is too hard to pay attention what with all the distracting temptations of mind take precedent, I am being a JC 7-11. Open in the majority, definitely convenient but 1/3rd of the time I have to take a break.
Something else I discovered today.... Not all Oreos are chocolate covered! Now, call me naïve but shouldn't they be?
So that is my thought for the moment. Why not go all the way and have the chocolate coating? That is how they are meant to be and how they are at their best. It's still an Oreo without the thick layer of chocolatey goodness but it's not nearly as tasty. And doesn't it say "Taste and see that the Lord is good."? [OK, this only makes sense if you have read this.]
There are so many areas of my existence that Christian living has not even had the chance to be expressed. I mean, Britain for a start! I have spent a sum total of 22 hours there since 'the change' and who knows what it will be like to move back and let It permeate my life there. I haven't even driven a car as a Christian yet. Maybe I'll be more careful...?
I hope so.
Yesterday was the first day of the non-contract period of my life here. Bizarrely I realised I feel suddenly different. I feel like I am a visitor. A very happy visitor indeed who cares a lot about the people here, wants to come back for holidays and loves the fact that she is in town for the summer; but a visitor that is thinking quite a lot about the colour of her kitchen at home. That's the thing, I know I will be going back and, whilst unexpected, I am glad that I feel like I will be at home in England. There was the risk that given how much my life had changed whilst here, I was going to feel out of place on return. Yesterday at YAGs we had an international evening where we each took a dish (I chose fruit salad, as in garden party... tenuous but I have tried and failed at scones once already!) and shared a little about our country of origin. After all the Americans, Canadians and South Africans had sung their national anthems I felt like we should have a turn, so me and Sara led them in the first verse of 'God Save The Queen'! I tell you what, I was kinda proud. (Not of anything in particular, but isn't that the nature of pride?!) I definitely still got my Brit :-)
So, I am excited and confident about le prochain chapitre. How can I not be, with the Oreos (chocolated coated I pray) waiting for me. And a 24-hour ASDA...
Friday, June 20, 2008
Postdated Illustrations
Here are a few pictures that go with some of my past blogs. At the moment I haven't got space on my hard-drive for the travel ones but one day they might make their way here too...
Evidence for the story in Clichès and close calls. The angle doesn't do justice to the numbers by the way!
The November YAGs retreat weekend. Where Robyn and I first spent quality time together and the relationship began to blossom... Just as a bit of background to An affair to remember. This shot was taken on a hike up Le Mole in France (there's a story in there when I get the time).
This is the dear Cleopatra. Awwwwwwwww! Who's Cleopatra? See here: Cleopatra comin' at'cha and other incites.
This is the best pic I can find that demonstrates my grey hair (Everything is meaningless...). It also shows what a lovely pair Robyn and I make and how the reconciliation was really worth it (It's the little things)!
My sister came to see me Taking The Plunge. It was ACE and I loved having her here. We were both tackling fears together: she took flight and I plunged (it occurs to me that were we to have switched actions it would be terribly detrimental to both concerns...).
Well who'd have thought?! Just because it may possibly be the most Beautiful picture ever. This one is from my 'B' party. No labeling here, those who know you know you... ;)
Isn't this the most FABULOUS picture ever? Left to right (in descending order) Teresa, me, Gemma, The Girl With Brown Curly Hair. From the crazy day in the parc as mentioned in Coincidence?
I shall try and add visuals as I go from now on. Also, I do in time want to acknowledge fabulous things/events/people that haven't been mentioned on the blog as yet since, believe it or not, my life is bigger than what I write about on here! And it started before April 27th 2008, though some may argue that was merely the shadow of an existence...
Evidence for the story in Clichès and close calls. The angle doesn't do justice to the numbers by the way!
The November YAGs retreat weekend. Where Robyn and I first spent quality time together and the relationship began to blossom... Just as a bit of background to An affair to remember. This shot was taken on a hike up Le Mole in France (there's a story in there when I get the time).
This is the dear Cleopatra. Awwwwwwwww! Who's Cleopatra? See here: Cleopatra comin' at'cha and other incites.
This is the best pic I can find that demonstrates my grey hair (Everything is meaningless...). It also shows what a lovely pair Robyn and I make and how the reconciliation was really worth it (It's the little things)!
My sister came to see me Taking The Plunge. It was ACE and I loved having her here. We were both tackling fears together: she took flight and I plunged (it occurs to me that were we to have switched actions it would be terribly detrimental to both concerns...).
Well who'd have thought?! Just because it may possibly be the most Beautiful picture ever. This one is from my 'B' party. No labeling here, those who know you know you... ;)
Isn't this the most FABULOUS picture ever? Left to right (in descending order) Teresa, me, Gemma, The Girl With Brown Curly Hair. From the crazy day in the parc as mentioned in Coincidence?
I shall try and add visuals as I go from now on. Also, I do in time want to acknowledge fabulous things/events/people that haven't been mentioned on the blog as yet since, believe it or not, my life is bigger than what I write about on here! And it started before April 27th 2008, though some may argue that was merely the shadow of an existence...
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