2,000

That's a lot of visits! Well, it's obviously interval dependent but it's still a nice sounding big number! I'd like to thank my parents, for their unceasing interest in my life; my sister for logging in a few times a day to make me look popular and generally being really encouraging; Darryl for humouring me and giving me the prod to start with; Ms Spitfire for loads (though I'm going to do that with a sulky face given she doesn't seem to be around very much right now :-S); British Nathan for being so affirming early on; Lizzie for being so affirming recently; anyone that has ever commented really; my "followers" (oh I have noticed the number grew to plural and then some!); all you people who visit a normal amount :-P; anyone that typed in a song lyric and by chance found me (it still counts as a hit!)... Ummm, and I think that might be it. If you don't fit into those formal catergories then the jury is out on whether you can have a proper class - it may compromise the hierarchy of sets but, to hell with it, have your own collection and I'll thank you too!

I am a pretty different person since I started writing. I think that I have changed a lot since my first counted visitor (I actually added the counter on the eve on my B so I know that have changed a lot) but it's not all been for good. Lots of God - Yay! A bit too much Christianity - *sharp intake of breath*. I of course mean by the world's definitions and not the biblical one. Words are what you make them people - semantics are everything. As I saw once on a random wall in Vienna just at the right moment:
"Don't try to be an apple if you're a banana, you'll only be a second rate apple."
I have almost definitely overcompensated at times - I can be a bit of an all or nothing girl. Made in the image of Christ not generic Christian. It's funny to joke about but less funny to become.

We'll talk about that another time. I've used enough words, I'm off to watch Neighbours!

The Anaesthesia is Wearing Off

When I got the placement in Geneva it really felt like I was being pushed out of the country. I applied 'cause it seemed like too good an opportunity to miss out on but I was comfortable in my existence, miserable though it was, and didn't actually want to go. Every stage of interview I went through I said "Yes" but only because I could not, reasonably, say “No”. I said to my mum back then that if I got offered the post I would probably do the same thing but I still spent my whole time making excuses for why it was not a good idea (they were crap by the way). As I made the phone call to refuse the offer, I remember the rainbow that I wrote about 2 posts ago and confirmed.

And so, in a moment, my life was changed.

When I went to La Suisse I took with me a lot of baggage (literally and figuratively speaking). There was a lot of unpacking that needed doing - it turned out that (metaphorically) I had gone and destroyed my heart completely and needed a transplant. At the time it was remarkable how I managed to let go so much of the past and just enjoy life again. With England in the background everything of before seemed a long way away and not at all important. With my new heart I was healed!

Yet there is a time to mourn and a time to dance. England is no longer a fuzzy memory but a very real and tangible place in which I reside. Amidst all the excitement about God giving to me everywhere that I put my foot I am realising that, though the battle is won, there are a lot of skeletons to bury.

It feels like, post-op and post-fabulous feeling of being made whole, the numbness is wearing off and with that I am aware of the tenderness around the incision.

Now, don't worry, I am not writing this in floods of tears. The main initial pain was incredibly avoided with the anaesthesia that is God's love. The new heart has been in place sufficiently long that rejection is unlikely and I still have a large number of carers to check I am stable and keep the wounds clean: Ana last night fed me the most sophisticated TV dinner known to man – stuffed trout with steamed veg, then totally let me vent to her; tonight I am off to house group with my sister and btw the leaders are North American which makes me feel strangely at home!

All of which is great 'cause while it heals I am at a higher risk of infection. For this reason I must be particularly vigilant with aftercare and staying away from major causes of disease till I am strong enough to “be a doctor” myself.

I just have to remember that the pain is part of the joy; acknowledging the past is part of the release from it. It needs to happen which is why I must neither avoid nor fear it. If I stayed in the Geneva mindset it would be akin to drug abuse, keeping anaesthetised long after appropriate and just running away. I know enough people that don’t face up to the emotional fall out of catastrophe to realise that this is the only way ahead. I don’t want to end up smacked off my head on pain killers – figuratively or not. Sometimes you just have to feel it.

But, and it is more of a huge J-Lo sized BUT, there is a huge difference with the inclusion of a new heart. My health is so much better that, while the tenderness is there, I am able to deal with the strain. Obviously it is the God aspect of that which makes a difference. I am fitter than ever before and it is sure not by my own strength.

I totally didn't realise (perhaps naïvely) that I still need to do this but I am content that it is all part of the process and that, one day, the scars will not hurt.

And so, over time, my life will yet again change.

[I didn’t write the rainbow post thinking I would write this a few days later by the way; it just seems to have fitted together as certain things have happened. Not surprising, God is cool like that.]

Bows Are Back in Fashion

I’m publishing this post and last Thurs at the same time.  That is because, lovely though it is, my little nest does not have much web action and I only have uni-based semi-reliable connections.  Today I am coming to you from chez-ma-soeur though I actually wrote it last night.  Sneaky eh?

So, while I cannot give you a run down on what church was like (as technically I have not been yet) I can give a bit of a low down on Bristol this week.

Well, it has rained a lot.  An old friend from Woodies came to stay on Friday and that was great – I think she just came down to see if it was really true.  Wonderful opportunity to connect with UK based Christians and do some pretty damn great bible study.

But it has rained a lot.  Went to see Mamma Mia! for the second time with my dear sister this evening (Sat) which is amazing and I can’t decide if I prefer Colin or Pierce (spelling?) in spandex grooving out to Waterloo.  I also enjoyed spending time with someone that I know is going to be an integral part in this next step of my journey.

It rained on the way back too.

Turns out, rain is a pretty standard part of life.  And it is indeed lifegiving – we would be screwed without it.  Sometimes, however, you can’t help but wish that there was a little less rain and a little more sparkly sunshineness.  Specially in this hilly region of the West Country.

And so comes the analogy…

Rain, like pain, is a part of life.  The sermon on the last day I was in Geneva was about accepting suffering and still finding joy.  What really stuck out was the idea that we spend so long trying to avoid sufferance that we think it is a bad thing.  But it is so clear that in suffering we come closer to God as we prove our faith (see bible to back up this statement) and for this reason should rejoice in it.  It is through the fire that we are refined.

I am a little bit worried that God is preparing me to suffer.  You know, when you hear a message a few times to the point that it becomes blogworthy?  I watched on Friday night the movie, correction: film, Shadowlands.  Story of C.S. Lewis.  It was really good, I thought.  The final fade out comment that he makes was that the pain is part of the joy; that you need to experience the two together.  Today in Hebrews, having just been absentmindedly sing “O-B-E-Y obey your Heavenly Dad…” (kids song from EBCG), we read the bit - here - that talks about Jesus learning obedience through suffering meaning, not that Jesus was disobedient before then, but that His obedience was not proven until He did it despite what He had to bear.

I must admit, it is a little bit unnerving.  I haven't exactly had to prove my obedience or test my faith. As yet.

But, one of my more fabulous favourite things of nature is the rainbow.  This is because it depicts to me in theory what it means in practice.  When I first visited Geneva, before I had even been offered the job, God showed me a rainbow in the jet and, though I was not a Christian and could not accept the symbolic significance of God’s promises, I could see clearly the idea that through the storm clouds shines a light and gives something beautiful.

[This isn't the same rainbow of that day in June 2007 (the big football is kinda a giveaway) but it is in the same place.]

And that, my friend, is exactly what the promises of God are about.  We have the dark clouds of pain and suffering, the light of God shining through (post tenebras…) and then the glory of His fulfilled promises hangs over our lives. 

So while it has rained a lot, and there are whisperings of suffering when it really does not feel like it and I really do not feel like it, I am glad that in all this Bristol has been going through a season of rainbows.

'Cause what with all the rain I have spotted a few this week... here is one that I snapped from my bedroom window t'other day:

[That's my communal garden out there... check out the washing line! Cute much?]

So yeah.  Have some good solid biblical stuff to finish off with as far as suffering and growth goes.  Check it out if you don't know what I mean: Romans 5:3-5.

Brizzle foe shizzle me dizzle

Just a quicky as I have to pop off and see yet another old friend this afternoon.  Socialising is hard work, I don't think I will ever have time for a proper job.

You know when "they" say you can speak things over yourself?  I hope that last statement is one of those things!

Bristol is cool.  Cooler than me and my stupid faux 'hood talk.  Here is something really cool on the wall of [one of] my local pub[s], not 5 minutes from home, that has appeared since I last lived here:

Oh yes, it is a proper Bansky.  How cool is dat?  I will be challenging your graff pics Darryl, with him as a local artist... :-P

I went for lunch with my sister today which was nice.  It's been fun finding new places to hang out, as old haunts have gone or changed... or haven't done either when they ought!  Walking her back to work I met an old coursemate rounding the corner and was greeted with recognition, or so I thought.  Me and C both respond the same and then look at each other in bewilderment while the girl in question then notices me for the first time. There was a moment of appreciable puzzlement.  Confusion over it turns out my ex mathematician pal is now a colleague of ma soeur.  What a small world we live in.

Other things I have been doing involve unpacking, chilling out, shopping (oh how good that is when you are justified in doing it!), making my little nest all cosy like, reading a bit of maths, doing a bit of colouring and painting, connecting with people "randomly", thinking A LOT about everything and trying to work out how to balance living an ethical life with living a feasible and fun life - but that's a whole post of its own...!

Yeah.  My brain is slowly defrosting.  Coming soon: pretentious overthoughout issues with no solutions...

The Beginning of The Beginning

The UK is not online.

Seriously, I have finally solved the shoddy connection in my parents house by plugging in with a WIRE. It makes me sick. What kind of backwards place is this?

After a week back in the motherland I am feeling rather alright really. I got a little bit overwhelmed the first night (only a little mind) and was kinda worried as, well, life changed quite a lot when I was away and, for a short while, it seemed like it was all a huge incredible dream.

Backtracking slightly - I lived in Geneva, Switzerland for a year and got turned upside - I say to you respectfully that life without Jesus sucks.

That is an *incredibly* brief overview of something that I will/have gone into more detail about. Geneva, City of Reformation with motto Post Tenebras Lux (After the darkness, the light) was the place where I was reformed. And on Monday night I panicked that I'd blown it out of all proportion.

Which I hadn't.

Still I went to bed worried and thinking that I was glad indeed my sister had come over for my baptism as at least then she would be able to pinch me and prove it was true (I'm talking metaphorically please C).

And I woke up in the morning to a surprise visit from aforementioned sibling. Could not have been better timed. Especially as it was on my 3 months rebirthday! We had a BBQ it was lovely (note that the weather in England SUCKS).

So that was a good start to the new start.

Hmmmm. In other news: been thinking a lot about lukewarmness and how much I don't want to do it and how setting up a proper life (instead of the summer camp of before) is going to be more stretching and much easier to fall into bad ways in. That coupled with the overwhelming task of tidying my bedroom and sorting through all the crap (not lit) I own has made for a quick passing and intense week.

Though I have been to the cinema twice (Hellboy II - really quite good; Mamma Mia, singalong, with the company of 9, 11 & 13 year girls - unbeatable) and am getting quite a lot of sleep and rest in. Which is nice. Plus home-cooking which can't be beat.

Oh and Valerie the car is back. Woohoo! Though I did get in the first time, pull out my driveway and terrify Richard with the question "what side of the road do we drive on here?". Genuine moment of blankness.

That's all. Just an update for those that asked really. I will be insightful in due course (be warned).

Belated Felicitation :-S

Shit! I am SO sorry Carolyn.

This is a post to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister!! I love you :-D

I am truly sorry that I did not call you and that in fact the only reason this looks like it was done on the day is that I am sneakily writing it in the post that I previously drafted this evening and did not finish *sheepish grin*.

My excuses are that I was incredibly busy today (having the most amazing time ever as it happens) and have not been home since about 830 am (it is now 1am 'tomorrow') and generally was not really aware of the date. I thought it was yesterday and so I was going to call then - that would also have been wrong so no better really!

Anyway, here's hoping you were too busy to talk (you normally are!), you can forgive me (I am pretty sure I have done worse!) and that the card arrived on time. Love you loads my dear have a great next quarter of a century.

Your lil' sis. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. I am aware that Richard did not get a birthday post but if he won't read the blog then I don't think he deserves it...!

F'd in the A

I am so happy today! Despite the rain which is incessant and totally got in the way of my swim in the lake. Yesterday my weather prayer was SO successful that this morning I decided to take my swim suit with me, rather than my umbrella... I ended up walking down the street with a towel over my head!

Still. Nice lunch, met some lovely new people at church 'fya know what I mean...?! ;-) Enjoyed playing the piano in the service; I have been doing that for a few months now, approx every other week and am SO lovin' it. It's really helped me with my ability and confidence and been one of the more blatant blessings of life here.

What other ones are there? Well, getting away from the UK to be honest was a much needed and welcome break. Then there is my pimp place to live (I have a rooftop pool!) and wonderfully slow working week (4-20 hours long during the afternoon and some weekends) which is now totally at an end for the summer. So many fabulous opportunities for trips and activities like skiing, rafting and other fun stuff came along too. The friends, who I can't begin to express how much I love and value, play a MAJOR part: at the YAGs group (I'll expound another time, needless to say a silly Christian acronym but I have heard worse!), church and the ones I met in trains and clubs too - love you guys!

I have also learnt A LOT. God aside, one obvious thing is French, which though not at all perfect is much better. My dear friend who teaches me for free and diligently sees me every week over a lovely soirée has really taught me a lot, both linguistically and spiritually. Others have shown me a bit of Russian too (I can ask where the toilets are, recite poetry and say "I want to have your babies"!) which will come in handy when I adopt my Eastern European baby. Well, it might not. I mean there are lots of languages 'over there' and I probably won't get a Russian child since they actually have population problems and, as Erkki says, "You have to learn Finnish to understand Finnish" which I think is a principle that can be applied to most languages.

I digress.

Sometimes I feel like I am in a stream of consciousness. I ought to read that book that Carolyn told be about (please remind me) but I would struggle 'cause I'd then want to write about it afterwards/as I went along and so the vicious cycle continues. I do feel a bit like Russell Brand when he says his life is a "serious of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents" but where you replace the word 'embarrassing' with 'mediocre' and 'telling' with 'boring [people] with'... And perhaps 'people' with 'my parents, my sister and MS twice a day'. Hmmm.

I have a bit of an obsession with remembering things though, hence the stream-like flow. I sometimes need to boycott journaling 'cause else it takes over and I do literally spend my life writing about it. (I mostly got the blog to force me to check spelling and grammar.) This is also exemplified (word choice?) in things such as filling up my phone Inbox and then getting a new one! And I keep all the receipts and labels I ever get; if you saw my room back home you might wonder what all the drawers and boxes are full of. Well, now you know!

But, slowly, that is being dealt with. For a start I no longer print receipts at cash machines - breakthrough! Funny story: when I told Darryl I 'need' to keep receipts he took it very to heart and when he ordered his lunch gave me his food ticket too. Sweet. I was like, Darryl, I don't need yours.... but, well, now I do 'cause it's a keepsake! Ha ha!

So, I just came clean about one of my biggest oddities. I didn't even mean to, I really am good at digressing aren't I?! I suppose I see it as one of the bigger blessing from this year; freedom from shit like that. I don't think I could do it on my own strength and I see little point in trying now I know God is much better. It's like, I could just about cope and be really argggh or I could give up, move on and reach higher heights. Why take 40 years to get across a 40 day desert? He is in general responsible for everything so I may as well let him be in total control and do it really really well. I have 40kg to bring all my stuff back, which is a lovely biblical number, let's see what God can do...!

Oh and meaning of title? Well, that is a legendary phrase that my student used when she had done something really well (if you don't get it don't ask, you don't want to know) and seeing as she got a 6/7 for her maths mark today I am pretty pleased. I was going for the 7 but hey, she wasn't even passing last year and this way I get to not be proud!

So, another blessing from my time abroad. That and the Salvation. Shouldn't forget Salvation... Which by the way has 7 meanings from original Jewish (I think I mean Hebrew right?) or perhaps Greek: saved, protected, liberated, preserved, free from harm, complete, without defect. I like these all.

Shit old life: F'd that in the A. Even better than a good exam result in my humble opinion... Sorry if it got too personal; I think perhaps that green tea does, after all, have caffeine in it (I know you told me sis but I didn't want to believe you and I could not see it on the box). Whoops.

Yet still mostly Whoop!!

Postdated Illustrations

Here are a few pictures that go with some of my past blogs. At the moment I haven't got space on my hard-drive for the travel ones but one day they might make their way here too...


Evidence for the story in Clichès and close calls. The angle doesn't do justice to the numbers by the way!

The November YAGs retreat weekend. Where Robyn and I first spent quality time together and the relationship began to blossom... Just as a bit of background to An affair to remember. This shot was taken on a hike up Le Mole in France (there's a story in there when I get the time).


This is the dear Cleopatra. Awwwwwwwww! Who's Cleopatra? See here: Cleopatra comin' at'cha and other incites.


This is the best pic I can find that demonstrates my grey hair (Everything is meaningless...). It also shows what a lovely pair Robyn and I make and how the reconciliation was really worth it (It's the little things)!

My sister came to see me Taking The Plunge. It was ACE and I loved having her here. We were both tackling fears together: she took flight and I plunged (it occurs to me that were we to have switched actions it would be terribly detrimental to both concerns...).

Well who'd have thought?! Just because it may possibly be the most Beautiful picture ever. This one is from my 'B' party. No labeling here, those who know you know you... ;)


Isn't this the most FABULOUS picture ever? Left to right (in descending order) Teresa, me, Gemma, The Girl With Brown Curly Hair. From the crazy day in the parc as mentioned in Coincidence?

I shall try and add visuals as I go from now on. Also, I do in time want to acknowledge fabulous things/events/people that haven't been mentioned on the blog as yet since, believe it or not, my life is bigger than what I write about on here! And it started before April 27th 2008, though some may argue that was merely the shadow of an existence...

Bon Voyage

Is there anything sadder than wishing myself a good trip?!

Anyway, I have a ridiculous amount of things to get done before I head off this afternoon into the blue but I am feeling enough (false) confidence in the 5 hours I have ahead of me to write a quick post.

Yet again so much to say, so little time. Hmmmm, why not give you a bit of an itinerary...:
-Today I head off to Bristol and am excited to be seeing my darling sister and her hubby this eve :-D
-Tomorrow the morning will be spent with Ana there - woohoo! Then I am off to meet the Swiss guys in Dublin! (Crazy how small the world has become, is it not, that my two lives can run so fluidly together across 3 different landmasses.)
-So, I will be in Dublin till Sunday night. Apparently there is not that much to do there but with the Guinness factory nearby and lots of Irish people I am sure we will easily make our own entertainment.
-Then from Sunday evening this is where the real excitement begins, as I head off to Budapest on my own; to goodness knows what with no hostel booking, no idea of Hungarian stuff and not much time to discover such things since I am then voyaging back to Geneva via...
-Vienna! I haven't got a ticket to get there but I have a ticket out next Thursday so I must make sure I make the transition at some point around Monday night/Tuesday morning. I am fortuitous (must watch that language) enough to have somewhere to rest my head, courtesy of the boy we used to do lift shares with at school. Random or what? Nice to have someone able to give me a bit of a low down on Viennese life so that will be fun, as long as I work out how to buy the ticket (Hungarian anyone?).
-Then, since I return to GVA via Zurich, I thought I'd stop off there for the night and check out what all the fuss is about. Some say it's great, some say it's sleazy; I wonder if they just appreciate different things in life?
-Friday is my set day for return. I will be beat and smelly and who knows what colour my hair will have gone (damn it I didn't write the insightful post about my recent trip to the salon, that will have to wait now...).

Part of me wants to blog-it while I'm gone and the other part knows how sad that is. I suppose it will mostly depend on my connectability to cyberspace but if I get the chance I will probably take it. So watch this space for Irish jokes, Austrian anecdotes and Hungarian folklore. If you don't hear from me at all don't worry (mum) I will just be having too much fun... [Resisting urge to make comment about potentially being stuck in a basement somewhere.]

Will leave you with something vaguely interesting so if you got this far it doesn't seem like a waste of your life:
You know how rabbits eat their own poo 'cause there are nutrients in it that they missed the first time? Well, did you also know that if they are pregnant and are in conditions (like ill health, little food etc) which are not conducive to a successful litter, they can reabsorb the foetuses into their system? I think that maybe we over look bunnies, they have a lot of crazy stuff going on inside that fluffy innocent exterior...

Don't forget to miss me!

Ma'wedge... tha dweam wivin a dweam

T'other day I was havin' a chat with Darryl (by which I mean I talked across him about me as he tried to tell me about apertures) and he said that he thought I was the kind of person that would need to 'be with' someone that was able to give me lots of stimulation - suppose that is 'cause I am all loud and excitable and what not. I was not at all convinced. I mean, I get verbose about things all on my own quite a lot of the time anyway. For those that know me, doesn't the idea of someone who would magnify that just scream terrifying? Darryl even got my point that were I to be in that situation I may just explode. Kinda why it works so well with Robyn and I me thinks. I can be quiet, I like being by myself; indeed, sometimes all I want is for people to bugger off!

But this blog is not about finding my match. For one I am quite content to pine after Colin Firth for the next 10 years as I go about being a busy career woman (OK, as I sit in my flat with my cat and blog and write poetry and cross-stitch and grow my own veg) before I start to fret about the biological clock. And that is good because, besides the impossible task of finding someone with the right balance of calm, capable and visionary (I feel a Mr Perfect blog coming on one day but those three are a concise list for now), I need a lot of time to plan The Wedding.

Yes, there is of course a Wedding. You may think I would be unwise to share it with you, given that they are supposed to be a big exciting time and well, these are the plans that surprises are made of. But they are also the plans that broken engagements are made of and it seems a little optimistic that were I to find Mr Right he would also be Mr Themed Wedding. Alors, I can only live this one out through sharing it with you.

Well, the dress will be white and though I have some ideas it is not the most important thing. Surprisingly, the bride in this one plays a relatively small part (the groom even less so!) and anyway, I have to hold a little back. So, the only outfit info is the shoes. They will be red and sparkly and I have always know this. That is not subject to change.

And it is from the shoes that everything else stems. Yes, you must have guessed it: The Wizard of Oz.

So. What does this involve? Well, first off I will walk down the aisle to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". The Eva Cassidy version of course. Except, the aisle will actually be paved with yellow bricks (there could be some scope for lino to be used). The church will be emerald green and flowers made of foliage only. That kind of thing.

My bridesmaids. Well there is only space for 3. No more, no less. My dog Wendy will be the ring-bearer with a little plaid coat and behind me are three creations of wonder: a silver foil-esque dress (tin man); a Hawaiian style grass skirt theme (scarecrow) and last but not least a fur creation (need I say, the lion). The last will be mostly leopard print 'cause it has to get in there somewhere but it shall involve a fluffy 'mane-like' trim. That should be just right.

The scene is set. Next is where the hubby will have to be a bit forgiving 'cause it is likely that his friends will not get to be ushers as they will probably not fulfill the necessary requirements. That is, I will need to hire actors of a certain height in order that they can effectively dress up as Munchkins. I mean, if it is legitimate to employ them based on their size to play a role in a film I don't think it is wrong to try and recreate that at a serious themed wedding. They may even be the ones from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' and could do a dance while people wait for me..?

That aside, we will need a tolerant pastor to marry us. The building I am not worried about, it is all about where we are happy (once you green wash something it doesn't really matter where it is) but the minister will have to be up for hiding behind a giant throne with a big moving head and talking through a microphone with a scary voice "DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN... " Not that big an ask really and I think it's less silly that writing your own vows. Oooooh, writing your own vows, maybe that is not such a bad idea now I think of it in this context...? "I want to walk this road with you in boldness, seeking love and in pursuit of common sense... and magical shoes"?

So, last one and this is just simple and obvious. I always wanted a gospel choir at my wedding and, without wanting to sound politically incorrect, I have come up with the perfect way to incorporate them: they can be an army of flying monkeys and the director will be the Wicked Witch of the West complete with hat and green skin. Maybe they could sing something from the musical while we sign the register?

I am not sure how I will incorporate Glinda in this. The MC of the reception? Perhaps she could be the maid of honour... Carolyn, good witch, yes? You'd get a wand.

But you know, of course I will let my husband choose some things. The song as we leave almost definitely. The button holes? No, I will need to supervise that. He does have to wear green. But there will be something...

Now really Darryl, you think I need someone that stimulates me?

Taking The Plunge

Today I got baptised. That is exciting but it is late so I will probably not say too much. I do however want to write sommat rather than nothing.

I was going to tell a cool story all about God manifesting Himself to me/a huge coincidence that looked to me like God manifesting Himself but I am tired and don't think I would give it enough credit so instead I will make small talk about what a nice day it was.

I also want to note that I am aware this entry misses out a lot of gaps in the story between thinking God exists and becoming a fully fledged (though very much baby) Christian. This will just have to remain so until I slot in some random insights (or not so random incites) that may go part way to explain, though cannot account for the mystery that is faith.

It was very scary for me to do this 'cause I am not one for major commitment or indeed final decisions (you should see me in a restaurant and then try and translate this to life altering choices) and baptism is kinda like getting married to Jesus (with a bit of a funeral for sin thrown in) so I find it to be quite a significant option. However, fear is a good thing to conquer and so that is what we did. You gotta take risks at some point or nothing will ever happen and the good thing about God is He makes promises that He has to keep so though it is like getting married to the invisible man He can still be held accountable in the physical dimension. And, bonus, by definition of omnipotence and such He is better husband material than most.

After a lovely if not overwhelming morning, vast lunch gathering at Spaghetti Factory and Starbucks with my wonderful sister (she flew over for the big event even when I made a big disclaimer that I may not do it) and my fabulous Canadian lady-husband I suddenly found myself 'absconded' by them to a surprise 'B' party. That was cool 'cause they themed everything around the letter which is GREAT when that involves Brut Bubbly, Bread, Brie, Biscuits, Brown chocolate (tenuous but well worth it) and Beautiful Brian! It was really touching both that they fore-planned this and that the dearies that organised it went totally against my secrecy wishes in order that it would happen 'cause they were sure I would 'take the plunge' even if I was not!

So, I just cut out half of this post 'cause I'd written a final thought last night that grew too big and I know what you people are like about getting bored halfway through. Now there is no good ending I shall just tail off...

S'pose when the subject is baptism I don't have to be all conclusive, what with it being about a new beginning an' all.