Hmmm, what to do now?

So. This morning I gave my day to God. It's easier I find. When you have lots on He is there, coordinating the diary and making things fall into place with as much blessing as possible. When there is not a lot on I like it even more. I think this is because I am naturally adverse to inactivity; it leaves me feeling a bit directionless. But with Him in control I am learning that nothing happening is just a chance to spend time together uninterrupted. Not always easy but definitely good.

Well, that said it's not like I was not busy today. Just slightly less. I went to my last music lesson in the morning and spent the afternoon recording some songs with Caro. Quite fun musically, I rather think this summer may be heavy on the tunes which is good :-). I went on a bit of a wild goose chase around midday to take a Bob Marley CD back to Lindell which gave me some time to think. I don't know about you but I have a bit of a tendency to be busy in order that thinking doesn't have to happen... I found myself in a tired, hungry, stressed situation whereby all I wanted to do was be miserable and feel let down and dwell on self-pitying issues. These are some of my major temptations and it is hard to avoid this type of 'sin' when the only witness is you. And God obviously, but He is a given. It's times like that that I understand why people drink/smoke/eat/shut down emotionally. It is hard being with yourself 24/7. Pleasantly surprising though, we talked it through and I came out feeling alright actually. Good thing I prayed when I got up, couldn't have done that in my own strength. It reminded me once again how big the struggle is: I'm in a constant fight against temptation and a bad mindset is such an easy one to fall for. Thorn in the flesh, OK, still: doesn't make it easier does it? On the way home however, I was reading my bible (my headphones are too broken to use so it is all I have to do on the bus!) and I rerealised for the umpteenth time that it is full of some good shit. Kinda puts things into perspective.

Then tonight I went to watch the football at Plainpalais fanzone. Well, I'd done it in Vienna, it had to happen for completeness. I was a bit tired and could have gladly stayed home, watched Eastenders and blogged a little, but boy am I glad I went. Lavanya (my darling Indian friend who was born in the wrong country for sure - rebel at heart and intolerant of heat!) is a big fan of sporting events and knows a lot about the game. She also knows a lot about the bible. As we left (thoroughly disappointed by the 3-0 Spain-Russia result) we had a good long Jesus chat and I love it when I hear His voice coming at me from the people I am with. Our meeting may have been last minute for me but as we talked I knew that this time had been penciled in by my wholly reliable Secretary (not meant as a belittling description, just observing one of the many qualities of God) long ago. She reminded me in a stark and obvious way how important The Word is. There is so much to remember about this faith (well, not a lot in the sense that Salvation is pretty straightforward but everything after that seems pretty complicated) I had quite forgotten how intrinsic reading the Bible is. It makes sense. There is no way that an invisible (well, for the most part) God can communicate with us securely otherwise. Voices and images are subject to question and interpretation and just plain wrongness. Written down and unchanging, checkable and validatable; the Bible is a great way for God to talk to us so that we cannot question what He is saying (once we have accepted it as true obviously). The thing is, I have been trying so hard to pray and listen to what God wants by reading the world around me (which, by the way is full of confusing and misleading signs) that I forgot He already gave all the answers and wrote them down that there be no confusion. Duh! It's kinda like having a one-sided conversation if you don't read the bible. Also, faith comes from hearing and hearing comes from the word (Romans 10:17) and boy do I need more faith. And it is a sword (Ephesians 6:17) which is handy in this constant battle of temptation - bonus!

So, I get home and I am all excited about this. I love how much I am learning all the time - if I haven't mentioned it before I see this summer as my Crash Course in Jesus before I return to Brizzle and face the future.

Then I get an email from my friend who is helping coordinate with the shelter about venues and what not...

Now, recently things musical have been picking up even more. I met a street musician who plays worship songs and he did some at lunch yesterday which was very well received - music brings so much joy and boy does that place need it. Those who worked there seemed positive (I think, there goes the French again) and yet more people were coming into light that may be able to get involved. Then I am told that we can't use the room.

Only this eve we prayed about hearing what God has planned and as far as this goes I have always wanted to be sure that this is not just some notion of mine. For a start it can't go anywhere under my own direction - I haven't a clue! I was waiting to see what doors get opened (which until now seemed all of them) and while I don't want to give up easily I also don't want to ignore the answers. So. Do I take this as a sign that really I should stick to drying dishes and smiling, or see where else it can go? It is tempting to take up the offer of a vacation (correction, holiday) to the South of France and spend time reading the bible. I mean, I need to be prepared before I can do God's work...

It does seems a little early to write it off completely. And the park has proved great thus far...? Well, no matter what, something is coming out of this - relationships which, after all, are the most important thing. In that I can persevere if nothing else.

One thing is for sure; what I learnt this eve is going into action. Next step: listening to The Word and seeing/hearing exactly what it says about what to do now.

Vienna: I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away.

I never though I would be the person that screams out "You fucking arsehole!" in the streets of one of the cultural capitals of the world. But I did. And I make no apology.

I have met some perverts in my time, indeed in the past few days have been some priceless examples one of whom will be getting a post of their own in due course, but I have never been so outraged in all my life.

After a ABSOLUTELY fabulous night and day in this spectacular capital of Austria I really was feeling moved to perfection. This is by far the most beautiful city I have ever had the priviledge to spend time in (more so than Budapest, I kid you not) and I am even now looking into a way to get to move here for a while, in due course. However nothing, I repeat NOTHING, can excuse the behaviour of a certain Venetian man this evening.

That said, I cannot be sure he was a local. One of the main reasons for this is that we are currently amid the Euro season and I totally overlooked the fact that I was going to be in one of the major football centres. I'd left Geneva thinking "I'm escaping at just the right time" only for it to hit me on the train that I was heading into the fray... It did not affect my day too badly in the long run but it certainly notices as there is a huge 'fan zone' set up in a park between the museums and the parliament - forcing you to purchase McCafes and overpriced Carlsberg and throw away your bottles of water. It seems to be a bit of a repeating occurence that by chance I end up at these major sporting events abroad and it is kinda exciting, so after taking Dave out for a thank you dinner (OMGoodness, all you can eat sushi for €14!!!) I headed off to catch the end of the Swiss-Turkish game and soak up the atmosphere.
There was none.
Now, I must admit to having had a wry smile when I heard the English were not in the Euro. I was kinda glad they weren't going to mess up my town. But you know what, at least they know how to party. It was boring and unfriendly and the only time there was any action was when Turkey scored their first goal; then I became very aware of my location in a pocket of Turkish supporters wearing my 'I heart Switzerland' T-shirt. I left soon after to go on a rambling attempt to find David and his friends. Well, at least I can say I was there... Euro '08 man, livin' the dream.

So, what was it that affronted me so very very much? Well, in context I really did have a truely marvelous day even though I didn't get to do very much specific things and had no idea where I was at given I forgot to get a map, so literally spent 10 hours wondering in circles thinking 'there has to be a centre somewhere I will follow the big beautiful old buildings' and quickly realising that that is all Vienna has. It was incredibly cool though and gave me a good chance to think and chill and eat weird sausage and go through a market and... ooh ooh tangent: I was in this market and an olive man made me eat one of his olives even though I didn't understand and didn't want an olive and it seemed to have a chilli inside. He insisted it was a pepper but he was lying. Remember - fallible! I swear I nearly died and it gave me terrible hiccups (Question: hiccoughs?).

Anyways, great day. Then what happens? Well, as wondered aimlessly towards where David was, without really knowing 'cause I was only well practised at being lost in Vienna, a cyclist comes scarily close to me on the pavement. I shriek a little at the danger but that was not even close to the end of the issue. The b***ard (I am a little calmer now so will refrain) grabbed my behind and whilst doing so lifted up my floaty (but not at all sluttily short) white summery skirt, then continued on his way!!! DISGRACEFUL. Needless to say I chased him down the street hoping he would have to stop at the lights. Though really, is that the kind of man that follows traffic procedure?

After that there was a bit of a damper on things. Maybe it's the football, it does strange things to people. I am however a little suspicious it might be a crazy sport in Austria given that one of the people I met at the pub later (you gotta love Irish pubs abroad) said quite brazenly that he enjoyed doing that when he sees an opportunity and can never say no...! What is this world coming to I do not know. He did say he never grabbed, only lifted a little in a jokey way, but I still think that is not a valid excuse.

Rounding up the day I am not too upset now. It seems a little more funny and Vienna did totally speak into my heart (awww, soppy moment). I want to share one of the things that I found as I wondered lost round the streets that really was kinda worth it for this alone. A mural on a wall which, I hope I do not misquote, said something along the lines of:
"Do not try to be an apple if you are a banana. You will only be a second rate apple"
Love it. Also, it ties in with what D was saying about me on the first night. He remarked that he had forgotten how loud I was... then added that it was ok 'cause it just meant he didn't have to work so hard at the conversation since I did enough for both of us! I liked that, it is a new take on the concern I sometimes have of being "too much" and yeah, I am reminded that it ok to be bananas if that's what you are. Anyway, nobody likes a bad apple.

I am leaving in the morning. Only just realised and thought I had time for Klimpt but I don't which is a shame. Well, I will just have to return won't I. Hmmm, I have done this rather late and it is not as succinct as I would have liked. Also, the spellchecker is not working and I can't be arsed to go into Word. You will have to be more forgiving whilst I am writing from abroad me thinks. Now, I must sleep as it's gone 2am and I am up at 7. Silly silly Kat(i)e.

N'night!