My parents are THE BEST EVER. Like, I know we all say it (or sometimes really don't!) but today I think they may have surpassed the limit of giving good gifts to their children into downright inconceivable.
Whilst I have been away they have supervised the repair of all my windows, built me a bed, put up my bathroom cabinet, hung my curtains, bought and fitted a pulleyed clothed dryer in my kitchen, dropped off the furniture that matches my grandparents old dresser (that they also gave me), renewed the tax disc in my car, done my washing... and I've probably missed or forgotten or just not found out something else...
I am not trying to boast. I am trying to say 'Thank You' and 'I Love You'. I also want to make an analogy.
I find it hard to write this post because:
a) it sounds really cheesy and I know that there have probably been LOADS of times where I have not been so vehement of this attitude (justifiably and not!) and generally it seems glib,
and
b) I know how lucky I am and it can't be easy for people that don't have parents, don't have such obviously attentive caring ones, or maybe theirs just can't help them is such ways... I feel bad rubbing that in those people's face and also like I come across a little smug.
But the thing is, this is such a perfect example of what parenthood can be. In this moment of wonderfulness (which can also be seen in the times of discipline, hardship and controversy but is perhaps less obvious) I can see clearly an image of the fatherhood and motherhood of God. I don't want to overlook the glory of this feeling so I think I will write about it anyway.
The role of a parent is so important in the way it is an example of our relationship with God (like how marriage demonstrates another aspect - don'tcha just love how diverse relationships are, how with God we have all the sorts rolled into one and that He gives us examples of the different aspects!). That is a huge challenge to rise to and of course they are going to get it wrong sometimes.
Though for some that may seem like an understatement and with this symbolism comes it's own problems. Firstly I am aware that not everyone feels the same joy in these type of relationships. As with any hardship it is easier said that done to say that God is working through that to teach and to bring good things and that His parentage however hands-off it may seem (not true mind) is sufficient. So often it becomes easy for us to assimilate our negative images of parents with the biblical analogy and think that the worldly elements of error is something we receive from our Heavenly Father instead of those being exactly what He isn't. That sucks and I am sorry.
'Cause when I look at what I have and what maybe others don't I am reminded that we all have the same promises from God. And that what my parents fail at, He doesn't. And that the size of what they give is tiny in comparison with what He gives. So, while it may be a rubbish thing to hear me to say, I am glad that there is in the world examples of parentage being this lovely 'cause it can help just a little bit to understand what it means to be a child of God. You can't deny I am lucky and He does all the above and more: wow am I looking forward to finding out His surprises...!
Another thing I have realised is how easy it is for me to say thank you and I love you in a really heartfelt way to my biological parents:
a) Shameful fact that it is the result of a direct gift is telling of how easily I forget otherwise,
and
b) When it's God and you can't see the joy in His face or hear it in his voice, does it feel as rewarding? Are we as compelled?
I can't be ashamed to have such great folks, to do so would be to shirk the gift that God gave me when he put me in this family. So today I just want to say 'Thank You' and 'I Love You'. To my earthly parents - superstars and a wonderful demonstration of His love; and to Him, for blessing me with them.
Showing posts with label Delight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Delight. Show all posts
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
No clever heading today, I am all titled out. This post is about what I did today and, yet again, how God was cool. You don't have to read it.
I am tired and hungry but I don't care. Right now all I want to do is write about how cool my day was!
I went to the Jardin de Montbrilliant which was pretty much the same as ever but with an extra person volunteering, under the blanket of engaGE. That is, you feel like you want to do more but the ladies are very much in control and it's hard to know what is needed. I heard from my street musician friend that he was asked to stop playing the other week (when I had been encouraging him) and that makes me a bit mad. Why does a grumpy French lady even want to stop people being joyful - the atmosphere visibly lifted when there was music in the place. Maybe she works there 'cause they make her feel less crappy about herself and to see them having fun means she feels bad again. It is a shame. It has made me realised (eventually) that the staff are just as in need of help as the people that go, more some of them; better pray harder. It was doubly disappointing when one little man said to me 'what about some music' (or a close Frenchy translation) and he really wanted me to sing but I felt like it would get frowned upon. The more I do, the more bitterness seems to come from this particular woman. Kinda suppressing the vision a bit.
But we're not going to let that stop things. In the name of engaGE (ok, see the website for an explanation, they are doing stuff in JdeM so this week I going with them) my friend (from breakfast yday) is coming with a guitar and we will sing and they can say nothing. Then I am going higher to get permission to do that once a week, if all goes well. Strange to realise there is such a real blockage there, I was kinda ignoring it/ignorant of it 'til today.
Anyway. That is progress and interesting. Then I planned to go to Voix Libres again for the afternoon until YAGs. And guess what, all 3 of my Jamaican friends came and helped! We set up a production line and got 28 boxes done, whilst all the time having the best conversations about God, Rastafarianism, world politics... and so the list goes on. We sang some gospels songs and they taught me one that goes "Real, real, real..." (I forget most of it but it is really good) and just, well, it was GREAT! One of them went off and returned with another person, joking that he was trying to recruit as many as I had. They were laughing at the fact they were there, "We don't even normally work for money!" was the line. They surprised themselves and you know, I could tell that every one of them was fulfilled by the experience of actually being useful and appreciated; yet I think I may have been the most blessed of the lot.
It was particularly great as I had spoken to one of the organisers that morning who was trying to get things together for scheduling and did not know that people had been to VL the day before, nor that anyone was going that day either. As it turned out, I was one of these 5 plus a new guy to EBCG who turned up 'cause Sara sent out an email the night before. It was great to see the situation turn around and, well, just how many people were being touched by God's fabulous creation.
I will never forget sitting round that table with Bob Marley blaring out and having one guy say to me that I was the first white person he'd known that was really into God. Maybe this sounds really vain of me to share (I for one know it means he's not met many white folk, and certainly not the ones I have), but still, I can't help but love that He is shining out of me enough that my new friend saw it. And if we don't share the good stuff God is doing in our lives for fear of immodesty then how can we glorify Him to each other? God made me be into Him and then helped me share it; I for one see it as such an Almighty (lit.) alteration that I know I am not the one responsible. Alors, to worry about humility is a sneak Satan clause that I'm not going to gratify.
Oh and note of warning. When life is this exciting you (or at least I) can't avoid the hype. Quit caffeine OK, but I'll have to quit Jesus to stop getting excited. That, or let a few years pass by and deaden the senses. You will tell me if that ever happens, right? Point me back here and say Kat(i)e of 2008 would never have stood for it. Complacency is one of my biggest concerns. Any thoughts?
Now... to satisfy the other urgent needs of sardines on toast and slumber.
I went to the Jardin de Montbrilliant which was pretty much the same as ever but with an extra person volunteering, under the blanket of engaGE. That is, you feel like you want to do more but the ladies are very much in control and it's hard to know what is needed. I heard from my street musician friend that he was asked to stop playing the other week (when I had been encouraging him) and that makes me a bit mad. Why does a grumpy French lady even want to stop people being joyful - the atmosphere visibly lifted when there was music in the place. Maybe she works there 'cause they make her feel less crappy about herself and to see them having fun means she feels bad again. It is a shame. It has made me realised (eventually) that the staff are just as in need of help as the people that go, more some of them; better pray harder. It was doubly disappointing when one little man said to me 'what about some music' (or a close Frenchy translation) and he really wanted me to sing but I felt like it would get frowned upon. The more I do, the more bitterness seems to come from this particular woman. Kinda suppressing the vision a bit.
But we're not going to let that stop things. In the name of engaGE (ok, see the website for an explanation, they are doing stuff in JdeM so this week I going with them) my friend (from breakfast yday) is coming with a guitar and we will sing and they can say nothing. Then I am going higher to get permission to do that once a week, if all goes well. Strange to realise there is such a real blockage there, I was kinda ignoring it/ignorant of it 'til today.
Anyway. That is progress and interesting. Then I planned to go to Voix Libres again for the afternoon until YAGs. And guess what, all 3 of my Jamaican friends came and helped! We set up a production line and got 28 boxes done, whilst all the time having the best conversations about God, Rastafarianism, world politics... and so the list goes on. We sang some gospels songs and they taught me one that goes "Real, real, real..." (I forget most of it but it is really good) and just, well, it was GREAT! One of them went off and returned with another person, joking that he was trying to recruit as many as I had. They were laughing at the fact they were there, "We don't even normally work for money!" was the line. They surprised themselves and you know, I could tell that every one of them was fulfilled by the experience of actually being useful and appreciated; yet I think I may have been the most blessed of the lot.
It was particularly great as I had spoken to one of the organisers that morning who was trying to get things together for scheduling and did not know that people had been to VL the day before, nor that anyone was going that day either. As it turned out, I was one of these 5 plus a new guy to EBCG who turned up 'cause Sara sent out an email the night before. It was great to see the situation turn around and, well, just how many people were being touched by God's fabulous creation.
I will never forget sitting round that table with Bob Marley blaring out and having one guy say to me that I was the first white person he'd known that was really into God. Maybe this sounds really vain of me to share (I for one know it means he's not met many white folk, and certainly not the ones I have), but still, I can't help but love that He is shining out of me enough that my new friend saw it. And if we don't share the good stuff God is doing in our lives for fear of immodesty then how can we glorify Him to each other? God made me be into Him and then helped me share it; I for one see it as such an Almighty (lit.) alteration that I know I am not the one responsible. Alors, to worry about humility is a sneak Satan clause that I'm not going to gratify.
Oh and note of warning. When life is this exciting you (or at least I) can't avoid the hype. Quit caffeine OK, but I'll have to quit Jesus to stop getting excited. That, or let a few years pass by and deaden the senses. You will tell me if that ever happens, right? Point me back here and say Kat(i)e of 2008 would never have stood for it. Complacency is one of my biggest concerns. Any thoughts?
Now... to satisfy the other urgent needs of sardines on toast and slumber.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Returns Policy
First off, sorry about all the Christianity. I mean, not sorry per say but I am supposed to be writing a blog so that my friends can keep up with what I am up to and, well, I have non-Christian friends that I try and not talk to constantly about God so this one-sided conversational mechanism should reflect that. I will make more of an effort to include 'profane' anecdotes I promise!
Thus follows a long post with a vaguely spiritual feel and a strong I-wrote-this-when-I-should-be-in-bed feel...
I am very busy at the moment. Many ideas for blogs and no time to write!
However, I do not feel rushed or frantic in anyway. God has granted me the real gift of peace this last week and a half. The first week from my return I got so carried away and excited that I forgot to stop and just hang out with Jesus. It was one of the things I learnt when I was traveling and yet so quick to forget... Last weekend I was reminded of this and starting the following week (23rd) in a attitude of chillax was great. Someone very wise gave me some good advice on the Sunday which I have been following (or trying) and it really does help:
When God gives you something, give it back.
We are so used to the idea of giving up things for Jesus, or giving our grievances to Him; but remember the lady that prayed for a baby then gave Him to the priest (Samuel's mum?)...? Well when God gives us things, ideas, opportunities etc we can/should to say to Him "Ok, thanks, now here you go you decided what to do with this." Not opting out, just giving God control of what is going on.
This attitude totally transformed how I felt towards the choir. I would still go to lunch and be apprehensive (the French ladies who run that place are scary), there would still be exciting things followed by sudden blockages; but I was a lot more at ease. It was nice. It was also very inkeeping with what I feel this summer is about - spending time with God, learning as much as I can and enjoying life before I go back to England. In a spirit of The Kingdom yes but not with a push to get stuff done. This is the holiday season! [The work is sure to follow...]
And many blessings are coming along. Today I made a new friend and spent all afternoon with a hilarious Philadelphian vagabond (in his own words) who may or may not have been Bi-polar but was definitely cool. I am connecting with such wonderful people at the kitchen and the opportunities to talk about Jesus with them, or just share some of His love, seem copious. This is what it is about. Some big adventure which looks cool and seems spectacular is not how God is glorified, that is how men are glorified and His ways are different - the next thing I learnt--
--From the angle of stress I was doing much better but I think I had inadvertently developed the mindset that the reason a music project may not happen (we don't know but it is looking less likely in an official capacity... there is however a fantastic outreach project in Geneva next week called engaGE and there is some scope there perhaps) is 'cause that was too big and unfeasible for me and God wants to use people who know what they are doing (more exciting developments... the Salvation Army are looking for a choir master (!) and my friend who has been helping me would be perfect so it could well happen after all and anyway the long term nature of the project makes that much more fitting) and could handle something that cool so I was only entrusted with feeding them (had been letting this develop into a bit of a general mindset of big exciting things not happening to me which is another mistaken attitude but too long for this post)... Now. Duh. Apart from the fact that we are called to be servants and all that jazz (quite a big Duh) is the idea that when we are living out God's plans it is not a compromise or a reflection of how good we are or aren't. It is the perfect thing for us. We are not chosen for things 'cause that is all He has for us, it is WHAT He has for us. His ways are not our ways, His plans are higher than ours (see Isaiah 55 for a proper version, that was given to me by someone the other day and is SO relevant) and when I live in accordance with surrendering to Him what I am doing is the best it can be.
So in this I have even more peace. I am happy to let go of worrying about how to make things happen (especially in the light that it is being started up elsewhere), loving every minute of discovering His ways and enjoying how not a day goes by when in the evening I am not delighted at the fantastic experiences I have just had. I am becoming less and less surprised as I realise God has every moment in His will. I make the strangest friends; leave my phone in the stupidest places and then meet people by finding it; have the most enlightened and blessed conversations and find the coolest stuff in the street on the way home! Life with God is far more exciting that on my own. My weeks are at their best when the schedule is empty, 'cause He has one that is full of delight!
Tomorrow morning I am off swimming with a family from church and then... the world is His oyster. I'm sending it all straight back from whence it came, He takes much better care.
Sorry about all the parenthesis, they are my favourite punctuation (after exclamation marks!) but I should learn better grammar (and also write less late at night)...
Thus follows a long post with a vaguely spiritual feel and a strong I-wrote-this-when-I-should-be-in-bed feel...
I am very busy at the moment. Many ideas for blogs and no time to write!
However, I do not feel rushed or frantic in anyway. God has granted me the real gift of peace this last week and a half. The first week from my return I got so carried away and excited that I forgot to stop and just hang out with Jesus. It was one of the things I learnt when I was traveling and yet so quick to forget... Last weekend I was reminded of this and starting the following week (23rd) in a attitude of chillax was great. Someone very wise gave me some good advice on the Sunday which I have been following (or trying) and it really does help:
When God gives you something, give it back.
We are so used to the idea of giving up things for Jesus, or giving our grievances to Him; but remember the lady that prayed for a baby then gave Him to the priest (Samuel's mum?)...? Well when God gives us things, ideas, opportunities etc we can/should to say to Him "Ok, thanks, now here you go you decided what to do with this." Not opting out, just giving God control of what is going on.
This attitude totally transformed how I felt towards the choir. I would still go to lunch and be apprehensive (the French ladies who run that place are scary), there would still be exciting things followed by sudden blockages; but I was a lot more at ease. It was nice. It was also very inkeeping with what I feel this summer is about - spending time with God, learning as much as I can and enjoying life before I go back to England. In a spirit of The Kingdom yes but not with a push to get stuff done. This is the holiday season! [The work is sure to follow...]
And many blessings are coming along. Today I made a new friend and spent all afternoon with a hilarious Philadelphian vagabond (in his own words) who may or may not have been Bi-polar but was definitely cool. I am connecting with such wonderful people at the kitchen and the opportunities to talk about Jesus with them, or just share some of His love, seem copious. This is what it is about. Some big adventure which looks cool and seems spectacular is not how God is glorified, that is how men are glorified and His ways are different - the next thing I learnt--
--From the angle of stress I was doing much better but I think I had inadvertently developed the mindset that the reason a music project may not happen (we don't know but it is looking less likely in an official capacity... there is however a fantastic outreach project in Geneva next week called engaGE and there is some scope there perhaps) is 'cause that was too big and unfeasible for me and God wants to use people who know what they are doing (more exciting developments... the Salvation Army are looking for a choir master (!) and my friend who has been helping me would be perfect so it could well happen after all and anyway the long term nature of the project makes that much more fitting) and could handle something that cool so I was only entrusted with feeding them (had been letting this develop into a bit of a general mindset of big exciting things not happening to me which is another mistaken attitude but too long for this post)... Now. Duh. Apart from the fact that we are called to be servants and all that jazz (quite a big Duh) is the idea that when we are living out God's plans it is not a compromise or a reflection of how good we are or aren't. It is the perfect thing for us. We are not chosen for things 'cause that is all He has for us, it is WHAT He has for us. His ways are not our ways, His plans are higher than ours (see Isaiah 55 for a proper version, that was given to me by someone the other day and is SO relevant) and when I live in accordance with surrendering to Him what I am doing is the best it can be.
So in this I have even more peace. I am happy to let go of worrying about how to make things happen (especially in the light that it is being started up elsewhere), loving every minute of discovering His ways and enjoying how not a day goes by when in the evening I am not delighted at the fantastic experiences I have just had. I am becoming less and less surprised as I realise God has every moment in His will. I make the strangest friends; leave my phone in the stupidest places and then meet people by finding it; have the most enlightened and blessed conversations and find the coolest stuff in the street on the way home! Life with God is far more exciting that on my own. My weeks are at their best when the schedule is empty, 'cause He has one that is full of delight!
Tomorrow morning I am off swimming with a family from church and then... the world is His oyster. I'm sending it all straight back from whence it came, He takes much better care.
Sorry about all the parenthesis, they are my favourite punctuation (after exclamation marks!) but I should learn better grammar (and also write less late at night)...
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Amazing Hostel
When that is the name of the place you are staying, and said residence is costing 16 Euros for 2 nights, you may be astute enough to not have high expectations. You would be wrong, this is by far THE most wonderful place I have ever lived and am comparing with my own home, that of my parents and all 5 star Swiss chalet hotels in Gstaad (check me out!).
I was not planning on blogging this evening. At the very least I may have made a note in my journal. I am however so totally impressed with ALL Hungarian folk that I simply had to share the smile with you all.
I arrived well after 930 (local time) after a delay and what not. The airport tourist office advised me to get a 22 Euro shuttle to my hostel but given that I was only going to be here till Tuesday morning (and it was overpriced) I decided I simply had to do it properly. Train, tram and wondering the streets...
My phone battery was dead along with the hostel address so I had to find someone to help me briefly charge it, though only long enough to get the street name. No matter, I was all about being alone and independent in the streets of Budapest. This, I have decided, is the best way to be. There is nothing more exciting than the moment you step into a new place without a clue what you are going to do next, no money and no language skills...
Within minutes a lady on the train was helping me identify my stop. She taught me how to say thank you, I still can't do it but atleast I am trying and I wrote it down so I could practise. At the trolley bus a girl came and asked me if I was ok after she witnessed me endlessly pouring change into the ticket machine (running to the shops halfway through to get more) and stamping my feet in mock frustration. I ended up paying more than the price of a ticket but with nothing to prove as such. All was well though, she assured me they would not check and it was true. In the time I was waiting for my tram to turn up (not including the two that had passed while I faffed about) another lady asked me if I needed help. Atlteast, I think she did - She didn't speak English so I wasn't sure what was going on but there was lots of smiling and pointing at my map which then induced the fourth one so far to offer me assistance. Hence, I like Hungarians. I am also going to firmly believe that it is not just 'cause I look perpetually gormless.
Anyway, mum. I have arrived safe and sound at my AMAZING hostel and am all clean from the best shower I've had in a long time (this could be rose tinted from the fact I was really dirty). It's tucked away inside a really big half derelict old building which even at night is amazing and I think I may cry when I see it in the morning. The staff and resident residents are very friendly and the first conversation they were having was about where in Switzerland the Euro was being held - I think I may know that one (aside: how glad am I not to be there this week...).
I wasn't really hungry (I'd bought a wierd savoury croissant to break a note. I think it may have had ham in which may or may not have been cooked) but one of the residents offered me a glass of wine (gladly recieved) and a a whole pizza (politely refused and then forced upon me until I ate a slice and now feel kinda sick). He is sweet but I not totally convinced by sincerity of friendliness. Maybe wearing a ring on my wedding finger is not enough... Oh well, I turned down the offer (thrice and counting) of him going out to buy more wine and think perhaps if I continue to refuse the dinner invite I will be OK! Arggh, getting into scrapes before I even start. It is ok to lie in this situation isn't it (insert question mark here). I mean, I try to just say no but sometimes I don't think it qualifies as an answer.
Well, I feel totally blessed and protected right now so I sure it will be fine. Roll on walking tours and Hungarian cuisine (what do they eat here anyway QQ).
Laters!
I was not planning on blogging this evening. At the very least I may have made a note in my journal. I am however so totally impressed with ALL Hungarian folk that I simply had to share the smile with you all.
I arrived well after 930 (local time) after a delay and what not. The airport tourist office advised me to get a 22 Euro shuttle to my hostel but given that I was only going to be here till Tuesday morning (and it was overpriced) I decided I simply had to do it properly. Train, tram and wondering the streets...
My phone battery was dead along with the hostel address so I had to find someone to help me briefly charge it, though only long enough to get the street name. No matter, I was all about being alone and independent in the streets of Budapest. This, I have decided, is the best way to be. There is nothing more exciting than the moment you step into a new place without a clue what you are going to do next, no money and no language skills...
Within minutes a lady on the train was helping me identify my stop. She taught me how to say thank you, I still can't do it but atleast I am trying and I wrote it down so I could practise. At the trolley bus a girl came and asked me if I was ok after she witnessed me endlessly pouring change into the ticket machine (running to the shops halfway through to get more) and stamping my feet in mock frustration. I ended up paying more than the price of a ticket but with nothing to prove as such. All was well though, she assured me they would not check and it was true. In the time I was waiting for my tram to turn up (not including the two that had passed while I faffed about) another lady asked me if I needed help. Atlteast, I think she did - She didn't speak English so I wasn't sure what was going on but there was lots of smiling and pointing at my map which then induced the fourth one so far to offer me assistance. Hence, I like Hungarians. I am also going to firmly believe that it is not just 'cause I look perpetually gormless.
Anyway, mum. I have arrived safe and sound at my AMAZING hostel and am all clean from the best shower I've had in a long time (this could be rose tinted from the fact I was really dirty). It's tucked away inside a really big half derelict old building which even at night is amazing and I think I may cry when I see it in the morning. The staff and resident residents are very friendly and the first conversation they were having was about where in Switzerland the Euro was being held - I think I may know that one (aside: how glad am I not to be there this week...).
I wasn't really hungry (I'd bought a wierd savoury croissant to break a note. I think it may have had ham in which may or may not have been cooked) but one of the residents offered me a glass of wine (gladly recieved) and a a whole pizza (politely refused and then forced upon me until I ate a slice and now feel kinda sick). He is sweet but I not totally convinced by sincerity of friendliness. Maybe wearing a ring on my wedding finger is not enough... Oh well, I turned down the offer (thrice and counting) of him going out to buy more wine and think perhaps if I continue to refuse the dinner invite I will be OK! Arggh, getting into scrapes before I even start. It is ok to lie in this situation isn't it (insert question mark here). I mean, I try to just say no but sometimes I don't think it qualifies as an answer.
Well, I feel totally blessed and protected right now so I sure it will be fine. Roll on walking tours and Hungarian cuisine (what do they eat here anyway QQ).
Laters!
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