My boiler is playing up. Which is basically resulting in no heating and lukewarm showers. And winter is coming. And it is colder here than in Geneva so I can attribute a slight shock of return as well.
So I have been struggling gallantly through. I still shower as often as ever, I just shiver a lot more and complain and tell myself it is all for a good lesson and some people have it a lot harder this time of year. Then I sit around grumpy 'cause I haven't warmed up yet and spend lots of time on facebook. I discovered I have two extra hours before my seminar, so why not waste them too?
I didn't even think about praying for hot water. That would be too easy. Yet I also didn't take seriously my thought that it was cold so I can learn empathy (*incidentally* something I have prayed for recently 'cause I am quite good at "being autistic" and not noticing other people - I realised this lately when a friend was sharing a prayer request and I was like "Kat(i)e duh they've said this before but you really didn't process did you?" then cut across the next person to add my own request in!).
So the plan is to actually pray for my boiler. Then, if it stays cold to stop my grumpy act. I really haven't got a leg to stand on when it comes to being unfortunate and I have more than enough jumpers to get me through. We in The West (not the South West mind but the Western world) wash too much anyway - it's consumerism and all their ploys for shiny hair, supple skin, nice nails and a perfect complexion.
Kneel to Jesus. Two fingers to The Man.
(I didn't publish that post yet did I? I have more to say about 'The Man', watch this space...)
Showing posts with label Everyday Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Everyday Life. Show all posts
Friday, November 7, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
It's Official
I am officially back. I just changed my facebook regional network from Switzerland to Bristol. [Edit: I wrote Geneva instead of Bristol but that would make no sense.]
Interesting observation: I had 50 friends in the Swiss network and 51 in the Bristol one. You know what I'm like with things like that - it just says to me that I have tipped the balance between here and there. Which is kinda what it was like returning...
I had an amazing time in Geneva. I saw friends that I love dearly; got the chance to do things I never thought I would (more to follow on everything that the gig taught me and what it was like, including mental photos!); learnt TONS (was talking to a BRS friend the night I got back and she said that she had felt it was going to be a time of... and we both said together: "accelerated learning" which was so true); got real direction from God as to what He is planning next and a bit about later too...; had a chance to chill; to say goodbye to some people; to get re-encouraged about what was important when I left - like prayer and worship, both of which are really starting up here too, seemingly; to catch the lovely GVA peeps up on what has been going on - which felt like a lot. Indeed, when I saw how much Mia (YAGs 20ish month year old darling) had grown and was talking, making sense and singing worship songs and all it was like she had done the same amount of intense growing as I had these two months! Not that I'm claiming to make sense you understand, I just like obscure imagery. Not the best structured paragraph I ever wrote but I suppose what I am saying is that it was a good time, in a jumbled thought processes kind of a way. I celebrated my 5 month rebirth day whilst there and it was nice to do that there at the retreat where so much had happened the year before (I don't think I ever wrote that story did I! That really has to happen...).
And I felt different. At times like I had already moved on even. Which is right and good and I am grateful that, even so, I still have these blessed friendships. I feel like I am in a place of enjoying it for what it was and letting it be something different as time goes by. Not my last visit for sure but it was the final chapter of something. And the beginning of something new!! :-D
The more I change the more I see there is to change but that is cool 'cause I have a really short attention span!
Coming back my flat was finally a home. It had curtains! Another symbol that I am really settled here now. I have decided on where I will make my home church (it turns out not my sister's chuch but the other one - which is a shame but kinda cool as my church's sister church is my sister's church which makes a lot of sense to me); found a few great things screaming out to get involved in (like co-rewriting the training for the discipleship/evangelistic programme and doing a wholeness course which ties in perfectly with what I've been learning... I will let you know how that goes); reconnected with my lovely new friends (who I'm going away with this weekend!); and changed my network.
Which tips the balance to 51. Also the percentage that gives someone a majority share and priority. My return to La Suisse is over, I am back for the long haul and while the trip was great and I love you guys tons and always will, I am fully at home here.
Until God says otherwise anyway :-)
Interesting observation: I had 50 friends in the Swiss network and 51 in the Bristol one. You know what I'm like with things like that - it just says to me that I have tipped the balance between here and there. Which is kinda what it was like returning...
I had an amazing time in Geneva. I saw friends that I love dearly; got the chance to do things I never thought I would (more to follow on everything that the gig taught me and what it was like, including mental photos!); learnt TONS (was talking to a BRS friend the night I got back and she said that she had felt it was going to be a time of... and we both said together: "accelerated learning" which was so true); got real direction from God as to what He is planning next and a bit about later too...; had a chance to chill; to say goodbye to some people; to get re-encouraged about what was important when I left - like prayer and worship, both of which are really starting up here too, seemingly; to catch the lovely GVA peeps up on what has been going on - which felt like a lot. Indeed, when I saw how much Mia (YAGs 20ish month year old darling) had grown and was talking, making sense and singing worship songs and all it was like she had done the same amount of intense growing as I had these two months! Not that I'm claiming to make sense you understand, I just like obscure imagery. Not the best structured paragraph I ever wrote but I suppose what I am saying is that it was a good time, in a jumbled thought processes kind of a way. I celebrated my 5 month rebirth day whilst there and it was nice to do that there at the retreat where so much had happened the year before (I don't think I ever wrote that story did I! That really has to happen...).
And I felt different. At times like I had already moved on even. Which is right and good and I am grateful that, even so, I still have these blessed friendships. I feel like I am in a place of enjoying it for what it was and letting it be something different as time goes by. Not my last visit for sure but it was the final chapter of something. And the beginning of something new!! :-D
The more I change the more I see there is to change but that is cool 'cause I have a really short attention span!
Coming back my flat was finally a home. It had curtains! Another symbol that I am really settled here now. I have decided on where I will make my home church (it turns out not my sister's chuch but the other one - which is a shame but kinda cool as my church's sister church is my sister's church which makes a lot of sense to me); found a few great things screaming out to get involved in (like co-rewriting the training for the discipleship/evangelistic programme and doing a wholeness course which ties in perfectly with what I've been learning... I will let you know how that goes); reconnected with my lovely new friends (who I'm going away with this weekend!); and changed my network.
Which tips the balance to 51. Also the percentage that gives someone a majority share and priority. My return to La Suisse is over, I am back for the long haul and while the trip was great and I love you guys tons and always will, I am fully at home here.
Until God says otherwise anyway :-)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Not the post I was going to write next
I want to vent about how I have not been a very good Christian today. I had another post in mind, hence not forseeing this. I also didn't intend to be a not very good Christian.
I just didn't intend hard enough to try and be alright at it.
I've managed to be blah and non-seeking, non-joyful, non-life-giving, non-progressive, non-interested, non-alive. It's not because all I did was walk and sit in Starbucks and walk and sit in Starbucks and walk - that isn't great but it has all the potential in the world to give glory to God if it was His idea. It was the way I half-heartedly said "you have this day" and then proceeded to make no effort. Not in the physical where things were limited and I had no real good ideas and was a little weary, but mentally I just didn't bother. I lived in my own stupid, selfish, unholy head; thinking about things I KNOW I have no business thinking about (not like dirty thoughts or anything, just not looking to God and getting stressed and dwelling on the past and wondering about the future and daydreaming instead of focusing on what He has and hasn't said and all that jazz) and generally not actually making the choice for my actions (albeit synaptic ones) to reflect my ideals.
How bad is this for example: I was not really doing much, my battery had died having spent most of the day on my laptop, I was too worn out with too many bags to go outside and it was cold and raining anyway. As a last resort sitting in Starbucks I tried to read my bible but then I decided that, given I was tired, maybe God wanted to speak to me through dreams; so I had a 2 hour nap instead. I basically told Him to come and see me when He was ready and then curled up with my earphones in.
When you are visiting it is like you have to spend all your time making the most of the opportunity to see people. I didn't have any lined up today (aside from music practice this eve) but I was OK with that - it's going to be a pretty long one tomorrow and I did move my stuff to Anna's (giving Beautiful Brian a break) which made it not totally unproductive. With no plans or distractions I had a readymade opportunity to spend quality time with God instead; and I chose to think about the songs I need to learn, moan about my aches and kick back like a lazy cow. I didn't even do any maths. I didn't even try and it only occured to me this eve how that must have made God feel - like He was too much effort.
Sorry God. I'm going to try harder tomorrow. This feeling really sucks you know, I've let Him down. When it gets a bit tougher I'm supposed to up the anti, not give up.
One thing's for sure - I'll need His help.
I just didn't intend hard enough to try and be alright at it.
I've managed to be blah and non-seeking, non-joyful, non-life-giving, non-progressive, non-interested, non-alive. It's not because all I did was walk and sit in Starbucks and walk and sit in Starbucks and walk - that isn't great but it has all the potential in the world to give glory to God if it was His idea. It was the way I half-heartedly said "you have this day" and then proceeded to make no effort. Not in the physical where things were limited and I had no real good ideas and was a little weary, but mentally I just didn't bother. I lived in my own stupid, selfish, unholy head; thinking about things I KNOW I have no business thinking about (not like dirty thoughts or anything, just not looking to God and getting stressed and dwelling on the past and wondering about the future and daydreaming instead of focusing on what He has and hasn't said and all that jazz) and generally not actually making the choice for my actions (albeit synaptic ones) to reflect my ideals.
How bad is this for example: I was not really doing much, my battery had died having spent most of the day on my laptop, I was too worn out with too many bags to go outside and it was cold and raining anyway. As a last resort sitting in Starbucks I tried to read my bible but then I decided that, given I was tired, maybe God wanted to speak to me through dreams; so I had a 2 hour nap instead. I basically told Him to come and see me when He was ready and then curled up with my earphones in.
When you are visiting it is like you have to spend all your time making the most of the opportunity to see people. I didn't have any lined up today (aside from music practice this eve) but I was OK with that - it's going to be a pretty long one tomorrow and I did move my stuff to Anna's (giving Beautiful Brian a break) which made it not totally unproductive. With no plans or distractions I had a readymade opportunity to spend quality time with God instead; and I chose to think about the songs I need to learn, moan about my aches and kick back like a lazy cow. I didn't even do any maths. I didn't even try and it only occured to me this eve how that must have made God feel - like He was too much effort.
Sorry God. I'm going to try harder tomorrow. This feeling really sucks you know, I've let Him down. When it gets a bit tougher I'm supposed to up the anti, not give up.
One thing's for sure - I'll need His help.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I wish I wasn’t a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
OK I’m not. I don’t have flowers in my hair and, technically, am not really a punk rocker either.
But I sure as hell look like one.
Today, ladies and gents, is the next installment in my most major, nay famous, analogy. My hair cuts. (See here for the full hairstory.)
I have gone and gotten all controversial on 1 Corinthian 11’s ass. Which I will in due course (or not, I am aware I make empty promises when it comes to blogs and apologise. Please Matthew 18 me) be expounding on but today in not the day for biblical debates (I think that sounds more like a Tuesday thing doesn’t it?).
I no longer have face length hair. It doesn’t even cover my ears. In fact, some may argue that my whole attempt to have long locks has been somewhat marred by my decision to cut it all off to not more than 2 inches in any place.
‘Citing though, in’t it?
I have been this way since Monday. The title might suggest that I am not best please with the idea. “Getting tired of it already are you Kat(i)e?” I hear you cry. “That’s what happens when you make a whimsical decision on a bored impulse.” Should have stuck to the waiting slowly and repeatedly recolouring to bring myself into some kind of semblance of truth till I had fully grown through, maybe?
But the thing is, it was getting a bit much. Constant redying was a drain on the resources if nothing else and the effect did not really last very long ever and wasn’t always as good a match each time. It stood me in good stead for a time but the fact remains that some things are too damaged to repair and you do just need to cut off and start again.
And this does indeed fit in well with where I am at right now. Check out Ezekiel 39 (particularly vs. 12-16) and you will see my life story. As long as you can replace Israel with Kat(i)e; Gog with [insert terrors from the world here]; skeletons with assortment of left over memories, insecurities, traits, resentments, attachments etc etc and tweak a few other key phrases like bury, search party and land. The essence is there though and I am indeed 7 months on from doing some pretty big battles (in the spiritual sense) and have been, on my return, doing some major cleansing (a mixture of literal and symbolic) and burying (of people, possessions and thought patterns – metaphorically that is). The to-the-day “coincidences” have been uncanny and I have, during the week at my folks, been doing some more sorting out of actual stuff. I am cutting the crap and sometimes you just have to be drastic.
And that is what I did hairlistically speaking too. I chopped away at the ashen (as in a shade of blonde and post fire!) remains and salvaged the roots, where the true colour is at. Underneath it all I had enough new growth to make a proper style of it. Just.
And that just is what I don’t like so much. It is cool enough and faking it was hard work, but really I do want more. I want to have a bob again and be looking forward expectantly to it hitting my shoulder blades. And beyond…
But this all takes time. Patience. Waiting. At least I am back to "how I was intended". The remnants of the bleach attack are, aside from a few tiny wisps at the front, all but lost. The colour? Fabulously "ginge" ☺ Being at the start of what I know will be a long process is pretty daunting whilst not particularly pretty, but it is real. I'm getting established and am on my way.
Which also fits in with what I'm getting up to. Yesterday I was all organised, checking out about studying, organising support, paying bills, ringing the gas man, seeing the carpenter, sending off insurance papers. Today a few more errands and dealing with "household affairs". All the grown up stuff! Revolution is indeed in the air.
But I sure as hell look like one.
Today, ladies and gents, is the next installment in my most major, nay famous, analogy. My hair cuts. (See here for the full hairstory.)
I have gone and gotten all controversial on 1 Corinthian 11’s ass. Which I will in due course (or not, I am aware I make empty promises when it comes to blogs and apologise. Please Matthew 18 me) be expounding on but today in not the day for biblical debates (I think that sounds more like a Tuesday thing doesn’t it?).
I no longer have face length hair. It doesn’t even cover my ears. In fact, some may argue that my whole attempt to have long locks has been somewhat marred by my decision to cut it all off to not more than 2 inches in any place.
‘Citing though, in’t it?
I have been this way since Monday. The title might suggest that I am not best please with the idea. “Getting tired of it already are you Kat(i)e?” I hear you cry. “That’s what happens when you make a whimsical decision on a bored impulse.” Should have stuck to the waiting slowly and repeatedly recolouring to bring myself into some kind of semblance of truth till I had fully grown through, maybe?
But the thing is, it was getting a bit much. Constant redying was a drain on the resources if nothing else and the effect did not really last very long ever and wasn’t always as good a match each time. It stood me in good stead for a time but the fact remains that some things are too damaged to repair and you do just need to cut off and start again.
And this does indeed fit in well with where I am at right now. Check out Ezekiel 39 (particularly vs. 12-16) and you will see my life story. As long as you can replace Israel with Kat(i)e; Gog with [insert terrors from the world here]; skeletons with assortment of left over memories, insecurities, traits, resentments, attachments etc etc and tweak a few other key phrases like bury, search party and land. The essence is there though and I am indeed 7 months on from doing some pretty big battles (in the spiritual sense) and have been, on my return, doing some major cleansing (a mixture of literal and symbolic) and burying (of people, possessions and thought patterns – metaphorically that is). The to-the-day “coincidences” have been uncanny and I have, during the week at my folks, been doing some more sorting out of actual stuff. I am cutting the crap and sometimes you just have to be drastic.
And that is what I did hairlistically speaking too. I chopped away at the ashen (as in a shade of blonde and post fire!) remains and salvaged the roots, where the true colour is at. Underneath it all I had enough new growth to make a proper style of it. Just.
And that just is what I don’t like so much. It is cool enough and faking it was hard work, but really I do want more. I want to have a bob again and be looking forward expectantly to it hitting my shoulder blades. And beyond…
But this all takes time. Patience. Waiting. At least I am back to "how I was intended". The remnants of the bleach attack are, aside from a few tiny wisps at the front, all but lost. The colour? Fabulously "ginge" ☺ Being at the start of what I know will be a long process is pretty daunting whilst not particularly pretty, but it is real. I'm getting established and am on my way.
Which also fits in with what I'm getting up to. Yesterday I was all organised, checking out about studying, organising support, paying bills, ringing the gas man, seeing the carpenter, sending off insurance papers. Today a few more errands and dealing with "household affairs". All the grown up stuff! Revolution is indeed in the air.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Assorted Talkings - just about my life, not really worth reading if you're not my mum and even then that's pushing it...
I passed the 1,000 mark and didn't even notice. What is going on with me and my blog? I feel like we aren't speaking at the moment...
It has been a busy last few weeks. I went to a wedding yesterday. The pastor graciously agreed to marry them even though they had both been married before - I think it helped that they married each other! One of those rather unique occasions but definitely a LOT of fun. Congratulations Ed and Zoe!
I also went to that wedding in England the other week, as you may recall. 23.5 hours in the country to see and old friend tie the knot. Sorry environment, but I did buy carbon-offsetting! I said to God I wanted it to be worth the effort/expense else I didn't want to go - and you know what, it was! Met/remet some great people and, also, got the chance to wear my Swiss Miss outfit one last time. Yes, I went in costume but it was Chris Lowry's wedding so I think I was allowed... As it happens the whole affair was far less mental than the groom might have implied; but there was one thing they could not control - the location was in a little Kent town named Snodland!
What else? A few friends from England came to visit which was really nice. Did the last touristy stuff, went around GVA, took the boat to cute French town of Yvoire. Lovely stuff. Also meant they took back 60 kg of crap for me. Sadly, though I have already sent back twice as much as I came with, I will be lucky if the last traces fit into 40 kg worth - possibly I should STOP buying things but I saw such a nice top... and skirt... and trousers... for 5 Euros each you can't really say no. Perhaps I am too flippant on an obvious character flaw...?
Life is pretty busy, got a big praise event happening at church the Friday before I leave (if you are in GVA do come, EBCG at 8pm it will be awesome) and what with prepping for that, getting ready (in theory) for leaving the country, doing the last things for the last time and all I am going to pretty much suck at writing. I will still do it, but it will suck.
The last week in Geneva has commenced. No more pub quizzes (not that I went today). No more Mondays. Sadness. I'm not giving it much though though, best way I suppose.
So, see you around for my final observations. I really want to summarise the bits and pieces I have started or hinted at but if I don't get round to it then know that life is pretty good. Busy and crazy and more than a little bit overwhelming at the hugeness of what being a Christian actually means but good nonetheless.
Something funny. A friend of mine went looking for this blog online after it came up in conversation. She sent me a message on Facebook saying that she had tried looking for www.britgotback.blogspot.com but could not find me. Ha ha ha!
That's all folks. Tune in tomorrow for the namesake, something else, or perhaps nothing at all.
It has been a busy last few weeks. I went to a wedding yesterday. The pastor graciously agreed to marry them even though they had both been married before - I think it helped that they married each other! One of those rather unique occasions but definitely a LOT of fun. Congratulations Ed and Zoe!
I also went to that wedding in England the other week, as you may recall. 23.5 hours in the country to see and old friend tie the knot. Sorry environment, but I did buy carbon-offsetting! I said to God I wanted it to be worth the effort/expense else I didn't want to go - and you know what, it was! Met/remet some great people and, also, got the chance to wear my Swiss Miss outfit one last time. Yes, I went in costume but it was Chris Lowry's wedding so I think I was allowed... As it happens the whole affair was far less mental than the groom might have implied; but there was one thing they could not control - the location was in a little Kent town named Snodland!
What else? A few friends from England came to visit which was really nice. Did the last touristy stuff, went around GVA, took the boat to cute French town of Yvoire. Lovely stuff. Also meant they took back 60 kg of crap for me. Sadly, though I have already sent back twice as much as I came with, I will be lucky if the last traces fit into 40 kg worth - possibly I should STOP buying things but I saw such a nice top... and skirt... and trousers... for 5 Euros each you can't really say no. Perhaps I am too flippant on an obvious character flaw...?
Life is pretty busy, got a big praise event happening at church the Friday before I leave (if you are in GVA do come, EBCG at 8pm it will be awesome) and what with prepping for that, getting ready (in theory) for leaving the country, doing the last things for the last time and all I am going to pretty much suck at writing. I will still do it, but it will suck.
The last week in Geneva has commenced. No more pub quizzes (not that I went today). No more Mondays. Sadness. I'm not giving it much though though, best way I suppose.
So, see you around for my final observations. I really want to summarise the bits and pieces I have started or hinted at but if I don't get round to it then know that life is pretty good. Busy and crazy and more than a little bit overwhelming at the hugeness of what being a Christian actually means but good nonetheless.
Something funny. A friend of mine went looking for this blog online after it came up in conversation. She sent me a message on Facebook saying that she had tried looking for www.britgotback.blogspot.com but could not find me. Ha ha ha!
That's all folks. Tune in tomorrow for the namesake, something else, or perhaps nothing at all.
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