How Can You Know Me?

A bit of a pretentious analogy for the way in which I am so very very deep...!

OK, so, the idea is that my blog represents me, right, and the message I "put out there"? And that it is a big jumbled up mess of thoughts. Some of it is personal, some (well a lot) silly, but not even together do all the posts give a full picture. I can't always write and when I do it is honed to give you the impression I want and the insights that I am in the mood to share.

Really, if you could login to my dashboard, you'd find TONS of half-drafted posts. Some too personal. Some a poor representation of who I want you to see. Lots and lots and lots I just haven't had the chance to finish and share. Then there are the ones I haven't quite worked through yet and it might take a conversation or two with others to get things to a point of greater clarity.

Which is how I feel about relationships with people. That what we give out is the tip of the iceberg and that it takes a hell of a lot of time and probing to get to the things that there just isn't a chance for day-to-day. Even with those people that in theory you would let in, it takes a major effort in this day and age (or perhaps in every day and age, how can we tell?).

Which isn't even taking into account the fact that for some things you will need my private password to get to read...

People, with all their complicated messages and ideas. Some private personal soul wrenching details; others just a bit sideways that take unraveling. The vast majority un-chartered for no reason other than lack of opportunity. Logistically we can't get close to too many but I think if we take the time it is worth it for a few.

Maybe the only person you will ever get to know is yourself. That alone would take a lifetime+ Of course it may be rather nice to share it with another and have them help you on the journey - work out those posts/areas in which you have come to a brick wall and need a conversation to move forward and grow.

LOL, did Miss Independent get all soppy about boys for a minute? Not likely! Just, you know, I concede that it can actually be a good thing. Say, for example, when you want to give strangers a bed for the night and don't like the idea of being alone in the house with them... ENTER The Husband! :-P Until then, I've got my friends to keep me talking and walking. Plus, there aren't enough Christian men for everybody and it would feel selfish to nab one for meself!

Ha ha ha. I'm going to bed. This is just the tip of the iceberb...

It just don't make sense

Two ideas about Christian dating that make no sense to me. Any thoughts on the topic much appreciated.

I very much have the mindset that until we are satisfied by God, being with someone else can be trying to fill the need for His relationship with other stuff. I think I have been pretty clear on this. Getting right with God is priority and then if He so wishes He will bless one with a partner.

But then there is the whole 1 Corinthian 7 point of view that says you are to be with someone IF you can't deal with the matters of singleness. Be it lust, loneliness, dependency, insecurity or other. It is like marriage is what you do when you can't deal with being alone, not when you are content in aloneness.

So it stands to reason that if you are struggling in singleness you need to come to God to deal with it so that your relationship with Him is sorted and that He gets the priority. But then, once you deal with this you no longer need to get married 'cause He is enough and Paul says it is better not to.

Oversimplification perhaps but for this maths student the idea of marriage seems, therefore, to be what we do when we can't achieve sufficient intimacy with Jesus or affinity to the Kingdom. (Boy that sounds a lot more judgemental than I mean! I apply this equally to someone that is not married yet can't help but see the appeal and certainly don't actually mean that those who are have compromised their beliefs, just that I don't get it... hence the question.) Which definitely leaves an issue when it comes to the idea of ever dating someone - "Well baby, I wanna be with you 'cause I have failed in my faith". Not really gonna cut it as a classic Christian chat up line and I don't think relationships tinged with letting God down really do that well.

And then of course one must wonder where go forth and multiply comes into it. We can't ALL adopt singleness or there would very soon be no new people at all. Not to mention the fact that I feel obliged to play a part in populating the planet given that there are so many chav babies out there...

An affair to remember

I just wanted to let everyone out there know that the Brooker-Bright relationship has come to an end. Yes, Robyn moved out today to her new life in a new appartement to be with a lady she has known from way back in Canada days. It's been rather sudden (to me at least) but no-one can truly be surprised. Our happy union was always going to come to an untimely end and there is absolutely no bitterness on my part. My darling, I just wanted to take a moment to remember the good times...

What was it like to be married to Mr B-B? Well, having a husband is rather spiffing. I would get up every morning to send her off to work with a big kiss and sometimes even a packed lunch. Then I'd mop the floors and arrange our social calender till hubby returned home of an evening. Turns out being a wifey suits me. True to the modern 'man', Robyn would cook me dinner (albeit at 11 O'clock at night) then make me eat cake and was truly the best husband a girl could ask for. We may not have had matching PJ's but when I lent her my second pair of red velour trousers I knew it was marital bliss.

There were the things that one may not expect from a husband. Like turning up to church to see them wearing your necklace and shawl or lending her knickers when she runs out of clean laundry. On the whole I think these are happy additions to spously duties. I will miss her curling tongs and the fact that my hair will never again look as good.

An interesting observation about femme-femme relationships is that at the end of the day, you both want to talk about it. We learned to balance this a little, well we more or less just talked a lot. From the rising of the blinds to the flossing of the teeth...

I discovered a lot with Robyn. Never before have I eaten so much asparagus and I can tell you now with honest conviction that it does indeed make your wee smell nasty. I now find vanilla rooibos with lots of milk and sugar to be the most indulgent fabulous thing ever, have hosted more pancake parties than anyone in the history of time and am suffering quite a lot from an unhealthy interest in maple syrup. Additionally are the simple things that make you say "I would never have thought of doing it like that". A broccoli cutting style for example, or eating pancakes frozen...?!

So now with a tear in my eye do I bid you goodbye. *There's nothing I won't miss about you my dear, from the bathroom light always being on to the balcony doors left wide open all day. I have never had such good conversation whilst on the toilet and fear I never will again. However, I go on to be Sassy Single and Satisfied and to prove this point have a cat moving in tomorrow. If I can survive this one night alone then tomorrow will welcome in the reign of Cleopatra. I have a feeling that being a cat-lady is going to suit me...

*[EDIT: originally I put "I will miss nothing about you" - couldn't be further from the truth. Grin.]