I left my hearts in Budapest...

...and other random observations.

My trip had been going well, fabulously in fact, until I got to the Budapest train station. Whereupon, though do this day I do not know why or how, something went terribly wrong: I lost my heart-shaped sunglasses. All I know is that I had them before I got on the train but during the course of my journey realised they were no longer there. Gutted. Foolish, much?

I loved those glasses. They stood me in good stead all winter long in the ski season...

(With Caro the day I went skiing without being able to ski and God had to help me down the mountain!)

...and then became my firm friends in the summer too. I have a real thing for heart-shaped stuff and these were far from the exception - they were the fulfillment of my deepest desires! Lol.

I tried to buy them again but they were not in the shop. Then I mentioned to someone today that I had lost them and I was reassured with a "They have them in Topshop, they're everywhere in England, you are sure to be able to find them again". Not cool. TOPSHOP! Do they know what they are telling me? Every 'Rah' from Bristol to Edinburgh (though they're called 'Yahs' there) will be sporting a pair.

The thing is, I am obviously a fashion snob. I bought them in C&A for about 20CHF and I loved them for the kitsch value but even more so for the fact that they don't have that shop back in the UK. The look had not made it to the high street. What can I say? My spiritual gift is accessorising and I take is seriously. C&A is a pretty random shop you know. Some good value, some tat, some regular gear... and then there is the religious body jewelry. Many people ask me how I find my outfits. Shopping, it's a skill; you either have it or you don't I think. However, sometimes it just seems anointed. Yesterday I found a belly bar with a dove of peace dangling from it. Complete with olive branch. Divine inspiration, much? Especially as I have really been feeling God talk to me about peace a lot recently and I think it is a key theme of this summer.

So, in respect of this I donned the dove and went out in the sun today to enjoy it. First time swimming in the lake! I went with dear Zoe and Sara joined us later. It was ace. Some of my highlights include the fact that Z is afraid of 'dark water' and, well, swimming away from the rocks even 3 feet! This became more of a problem when I learned she was also afraid on my behalf. No swimming for Kat(i)e! Still, splashing about was a LOT of fun so I didn't mind. Also, that girl is incredibly funny; if not a little gross. An example is in the following conversation:
"I think I need to pee" - Z
"Well will you go over there to do it then" - K
"Oh Kate... It's too late!" - Z
Darling. Maybe you had to be there... or perhaps not!
Oh, and the thing to fear, apparently, is the currents. The late is full of giant raisins just waiting for you to stumbling into their shadowy lair. Priceless.

My favourite moment, however, was when Z said I looked like someone famous when wet. Random to say the least (especially when said person is Natasha Beddingfield's younger sister?!) but hilarious was Sara thinking that the answer was Jason Donovan! She quickly covered with it being because I was wearing a rainbow coloured bikini with golden trim (I wore my bikini, with golden edging [aha-ah], bright colours wedging [ah-a!]...). I am still a bit insecure though.

So. Think that is it on the random. I just wanted to honour the glasses really as they were sorely missed today.

One last thing, related only because it too was a picture I took on my mobile phone. Rastadog:


I wonder how Wendy would feel about dreds?

Ciao Ciao!

Tee Hee

Was talking to aforementioned friend about why I have given up caffeine and alcohol (two weeks ago today...!).

[Suppose I had better digress and 'briefly' mention my reasoning. I am very sensitive to stimulants and definitely don't need the extra energy and I also found myself too often indulging in a kick that was, frankly, akin to getting a high. It can be a bit much and 'Kat(i)e on caffeine' is an official state that people are aware of and comment on! I already stopped drinking it before church. This happened 'cause at my B I abstained from my en-route Starbucks (ooooh, I made a comment about coffee in church on another blog, talk about easy post formation... that shall follow at some point) as I didn't want to be jumped up and not able to pay attention to God. Then I realised that I probably ought not be chemically charged at any church service since He doesn't just want our attention at special occasions. Then (finally) it occurred to me that God doesn't just talk to us at church! That coupled with my unhealthy attitude to caffeine highs made it wise for me as an individual to cut it for a while/indefinitely. Alcohol was when I realised that while I did not drink worrying amounts I did see it as a good stress/upset related device and, well, that is not at all cool. Also, I can't be as in-tune with God after a glass of wine either (or rather if I am it is far less validatable!).]

Anyway. We were talking about how there is nothing wrong with these things but that they are only OK in the right amounts and contexts. I said that otherwise it was Inappropriate Consumption... except it came out as Inappropriate Consummation - which is also something to avoid but far less relevant!

Tee Hee ;-D

Sommat else about Discernment

I was going to reply to Nate's comment on my last entry but I thought I would make a post of it seeing as my morning 'fellowship' so easily ties in with a response. Almost as though it were planned...

I went to see a friend from church this morning who lives in a village just outside Geneva. They have such an idyllic life in the country and the balcony overlooks the school where her two boys go (who are adorable by the way!). We spent the morning planning for the 'kid spot' on Sunday's service - teaching them a song about Obedience. It's fun but I feel a little bit hypocritical - O B E Y obey your mum and dad! She has a great lesson planned to go with it so should be ace. We also talked about the holiday bible club that may be happening. Yet another wait to see what God wants...

And she said something to me that was really encouraging. We were talking about listening to God and whatnot and she reiterated what countless people have said to me recently and which, in true human fashion, is taking much repetition to fix so that I can recall it on my own and take heed: what He wants us to do is be like Jesus.

That statement always seems so sweeping and belittling of the details doesn't it? All God cares about is you being like Him, the shape of your life doesn't really matter, is not significant. But that is not the case at all. The plan is that by being more like Jesus we will start to think like Him. Our desires will align with God's desires and from that we will know what He says about the details. I thought I said it in another post but I forgot to... when I mentioned John 10 in Coffee and Sacraments it was 'cause I had been given that verse by a couple of great mentors who were encouraging me about listening to God's voice by getting to know Him better. I glossed over it in my blog and it appears I missed the point as well since I needed to relearn the lesson. Get to know His voice. What better way to know what someone is thinking than trying to live a life that is in accordance with their desires? Only from that point can The Word (that is Christ, also the good shepherd) be discerned from the Wolves.

I wanted to respond to the comment with a "Well, great for those that can hear it but I'm sticking to what is written down, I've made too many mistakes trying to discern the will of God" but today, for some reason or coincidence, I was in a conversation that encouraged me to not give up just yet. Yeah, Bible GREAT and not to be overlooked on a daily basis, as well as a good way to check if what you hear is in line with Him. But hold true to the promises that He is there to light the path. I mean, the very fact that He is putting people in my life to be wise shows that He speaks in other ways doesn't it...?

There is still the question of is the door is really shut yet? I am not sure how to answer that, but it is being asked so I suppose I will have to give it some prayerful/bible reading thought. This morning I was going to catch a tram and I had three minutes to just cross the street and get on, so I was being leisurely. I know my time was right 'cause it was set by the Swiss transport system. Then the b*st*rd (token gesture as it's before the watershed) left early; as I was pushing the button no less and someone else had just got on. I was in such a fluster, having already been rushing that morning, and I flung my hands up in despair and wanted to cry and give up. Watching it pull away I wandered down the street a little as I didn't want to stand there waiting. It had stopped at a light... I had caught it once before by running to the next stop but I'd had a better headstart then... it was hot, I was wearing a dress and partially broken flip flops (thongs!)... I needed that tram - shoes off and I sprinted. Could not cross the street and found myself dashing down the tracks in hot pursuit (literally, that tarmac was not soothing) and I did just about make it. The risk of being left a second time did not bear thinking about but as I got on the satisfaction was in the conquest. I showed that tram driver, I showed him good.

So, do I fling my hands up in defeat or run to the next stop and see if I am really too late?

Hmmm, what to do now?

So. This morning I gave my day to God. It's easier I find. When you have lots on He is there, coordinating the diary and making things fall into place with as much blessing as possible. When there is not a lot on I like it even more. I think this is because I am naturally adverse to inactivity; it leaves me feeling a bit directionless. But with Him in control I am learning that nothing happening is just a chance to spend time together uninterrupted. Not always easy but definitely good.

Well, that said it's not like I was not busy today. Just slightly less. I went to my last music lesson in the morning and spent the afternoon recording some songs with Caro. Quite fun musically, I rather think this summer may be heavy on the tunes which is good :-). I went on a bit of a wild goose chase around midday to take a Bob Marley CD back to Lindell which gave me some time to think. I don't know about you but I have a bit of a tendency to be busy in order that thinking doesn't have to happen... I found myself in a tired, hungry, stressed situation whereby all I wanted to do was be miserable and feel let down and dwell on self-pitying issues. These are some of my major temptations and it is hard to avoid this type of 'sin' when the only witness is you. And God obviously, but He is a given. It's times like that that I understand why people drink/smoke/eat/shut down emotionally. It is hard being with yourself 24/7. Pleasantly surprising though, we talked it through and I came out feeling alright actually. Good thing I prayed when I got up, couldn't have done that in my own strength. It reminded me once again how big the struggle is: I'm in a constant fight against temptation and a bad mindset is such an easy one to fall for. Thorn in the flesh, OK, still: doesn't make it easier does it? On the way home however, I was reading my bible (my headphones are too broken to use so it is all I have to do on the bus!) and I rerealised for the umpteenth time that it is full of some good shit. Kinda puts things into perspective.

Then tonight I went to watch the football at Plainpalais fanzone. Well, I'd done it in Vienna, it had to happen for completeness. I was a bit tired and could have gladly stayed home, watched Eastenders and blogged a little, but boy am I glad I went. Lavanya (my darling Indian friend who was born in the wrong country for sure - rebel at heart and intolerant of heat!) is a big fan of sporting events and knows a lot about the game. She also knows a lot about the bible. As we left (thoroughly disappointed by the 3-0 Spain-Russia result) we had a good long Jesus chat and I love it when I hear His voice coming at me from the people I am with. Our meeting may have been last minute for me but as we talked I knew that this time had been penciled in by my wholly reliable Secretary (not meant as a belittling description, just observing one of the many qualities of God) long ago. She reminded me in a stark and obvious way how important The Word is. There is so much to remember about this faith (well, not a lot in the sense that Salvation is pretty straightforward but everything after that seems pretty complicated) I had quite forgotten how intrinsic reading the Bible is. It makes sense. There is no way that an invisible (well, for the most part) God can communicate with us securely otherwise. Voices and images are subject to question and interpretation and just plain wrongness. Written down and unchanging, checkable and validatable; the Bible is a great way for God to talk to us so that we cannot question what He is saying (once we have accepted it as true obviously). The thing is, I have been trying so hard to pray and listen to what God wants by reading the world around me (which, by the way is full of confusing and misleading signs) that I forgot He already gave all the answers and wrote them down that there be no confusion. Duh! It's kinda like having a one-sided conversation if you don't read the bible. Also, faith comes from hearing and hearing comes from the word (Romans 10:17) and boy do I need more faith. And it is a sword (Ephesians 6:17) which is handy in this constant battle of temptation - bonus!

So, I get home and I am all excited about this. I love how much I am learning all the time - if I haven't mentioned it before I see this summer as my Crash Course in Jesus before I return to Brizzle and face the future.

Then I get an email from my friend who is helping coordinate with the shelter about venues and what not...

Now, recently things musical have been picking up even more. I met a street musician who plays worship songs and he did some at lunch yesterday which was very well received - music brings so much joy and boy does that place need it. Those who worked there seemed positive (I think, there goes the French again) and yet more people were coming into light that may be able to get involved. Then I am told that we can't use the room.

Only this eve we prayed about hearing what God has planned and as far as this goes I have always wanted to be sure that this is not just some notion of mine. For a start it can't go anywhere under my own direction - I haven't a clue! I was waiting to see what doors get opened (which until now seemed all of them) and while I don't want to give up easily I also don't want to ignore the answers. So. Do I take this as a sign that really I should stick to drying dishes and smiling, or see where else it can go? It is tempting to take up the offer of a vacation (correction, holiday) to the South of France and spend time reading the bible. I mean, I need to be prepared before I can do God's work...

It does seems a little early to write it off completely. And the park has proved great thus far...? Well, no matter what, something is coming out of this - relationships which, after all, are the most important thing. In that I can persevere if nothing else.

One thing is for sure; what I learnt this eve is going into action. Next step: listening to The Word and seeing/hearing exactly what it says about what to do now.

To Russia, With Love

I have spent a lot of time going on about how fabulous my brand spank new life is. Possibly to a sickening degree. Today I want to make it clear that exciting as life here is (and believe me today was pretty special - someone at music practise asked for some of my water and it turns out they were testing what I was drinking! That's how excited I was...) I do have a dual identity and back in Bristol, UK where I make my home I am eagerly awaiting the completion of my degree and an exciting future built around the ragamuffin youth of today (or cruise ship singing). Not only that but I am not altogether going to give some aspects of pre-Geneva and they need to be acknowledged.

I say this for two reasons. 1) I arranged my return flight today (24th August for anyone who cares) and have been doing the necessary planning for moving and scheduling and whatnot which got me all nostalgic; and 2) I just spoke to Ana and she has not gotten enough air time recently...!

Anastasia is my best cold hearted Russian friend. We've known each other since 2004 but only became close mates 10 days before I left last August. Strange that - we lived round the corner from each other briefly and had nothing better to do! The first weeks and months of life here were made so much easier with her on skype. I remember fondly the good old days of Friday nights in with a bottle of wine - at either end! As things picked up pace for both of us we became more independent but she helped me loads through the initial period and I was so lucky to have her - I like to think it was all part of 'the plan' and I don't think she'll mind being called a Gift from God!

We wanted to live together, get a puppy together (called Roger) and grow old together when men failed us. Sadly, she went and fell in love (with one of my friends no less) and is now living with him, getting a puppy with him and growing old together with, wait for it, him! Dan, you are a lovely but seriously mate, do you know what you are letting yourself in for? This is the mean Bond Villain Nazi that believes in survival of the fittest for all human beings and scared me into writing her a tribute in my blog!

I have missed you my Russian Princess :-)

Heaps of blessings to you both as you move into your first proper home together next week... :-O (mental) x x x

Back in the day:

The streets are alive with the sound of...

Music! Obviously. Actually not, there are lots of sounds the streets could be alive with; not least football fans (at the moment in Geneva anyway). Then there is screaming, sirens, gun fights, domestics... on the whole I think music may be the only nice sound that the streets could be alive with. Not so much obvious as relieving.

This is the weekend of the Fête de la Musique in Geneva. Woo! What a wonderful day was had in town. Fabulous. And glorious weather for the first time in too long. (Note that today I was not a stupid sun person!) Though it does leave one feeling how much better Geneva would be if the other 51 weekends of the year (wait, 50 'cause l'Escalade rocks too in a cool winter way) had as much activity. It's just so festive to sit out in the balmy evening with music all around and that lovely air of holiday fun. I know, I know; it's like Christmas: only good 'cause it's once a year (well, Christmas does have other merits but my past 22 have been spent in a secular haze so I am yet to know for sure what it is like from the significant angle).

The day started slow. Robyn and Caro are both with me this weekend which, aside from a lot of hormone charged tension (!) means we had the pleasure of rising together, dining on a breakfast of fruit (I was gifted a sackful yesterday by my generous benefactor), putting the washing out to dry and heading down to Parc des Bastion early afternoon to see what it had to offer. Word of advice - don't buy sushi in Paquis then carry it all the way across town in the blazing sun. Let's just say out stomachs are in God's hands (it's a good thing Caro mended the toilet!). I think that raw fish should only be consumed in air conditions restaurants or ice fields. Anything else just feels and tastes wrong.

We took a long time getting round to seeing anything. But when we did it was ace! Met up with a few friends from church, one of whom brought their two adorable children - 8 weeks and at a rock concert; that kid will not be able to help being cool! One thing I'll say is this: the Swiss are definitely dull. I have withheld judgment for a long time on this one but seriously, who doesn't dance to rock'n'roll? Everyone but me apparently! I mean, to the point that people acknowledged with wonder that I was doing it at all... I am literally lost for words on what I think of this phenomenon. It's definitely not natural that is for sure.

It seems to rub off on others too. I went to a reggae concert with Dave and Lindell this eve and I found them sitting on chairs by the stage. Not impressed. Like I said at the time, I should not be showing two black men how to dance. The thing about reggae music, I have realised, is this: they talk incredibly fast and move incredibly slowly. Go figure.

I love music. All different kinds. The problem is, I hear it and it's cool but I don't know who it's by or even what name the style goes by so I have no hope of a) finding it again and making it mine or b) being able to answer that really frustrating question of "What kind of music are you into?" I hate it when people say "anything" 'cause that sounds like they are trying to be non-committal and fit whatever you want to hear. I can't say "everything" 'cause I don't know enough and I definitely don't want to say "The Spice Girls" 'cause, limiting factor aside, them being the last band I was a 'fan' of does not make them my favourite. I'm semi-actively seeking to learn more about music so feel free to tell me what your liking at the moment and I may well go listen and tell you what I think (this is me saying "please help make me cool" by the way).

I have run out of things to say about it all. I saw my friend's daughter's Modern Jazz trio after seeing her play with a Ragga band last night. That's quite cool. There was a walking on the spot brass band covering Natalie Imbruglia and others who we listened too as we hung outside La Clemence (or La Cloche as the locals call it - bit of an insight there) early evening. We saw a pig in a buggy (pic to follow...)!

It was just nice to be out of the house and not to think about things too much, or at least not to think about doing things. I have become very aware these days of why God commanded a day of rest. When the body is tired the mind and the emotions find it very hard to cope and this has a tendency of overshadowing the spirit. Jesus said "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." in Matthew 11v30 (thank you Robyn for pointing me towards that little gem when I really needed it!) so if you find yourself with too much on your plate then you aren't actually carrying His burden; or if you are you have forgotten to get into the yoke. Resting is one of His constructions to ensure we can cope and, since God by his very nature probably did not need to stop on the 7th day, maybe that was Him creating rest. That one was my brother-in-law's and I liked it.

On that note, I'm going to bed!

Postdated Illustrations

Here are a few pictures that go with some of my past blogs. At the moment I haven't got space on my hard-drive for the travel ones but one day they might make their way here too...


Evidence for the story in Clichès and close calls. The angle doesn't do justice to the numbers by the way!

The November YAGs retreat weekend. Where Robyn and I first spent quality time together and the relationship began to blossom... Just as a bit of background to An affair to remember. This shot was taken on a hike up Le Mole in France (there's a story in there when I get the time).


This is the dear Cleopatra. Awwwwwwwww! Who's Cleopatra? See here: Cleopatra comin' at'cha and other incites.


This is the best pic I can find that demonstrates my grey hair (Everything is meaningless...). It also shows what a lovely pair Robyn and I make and how the reconciliation was really worth it (It's the little things)!

My sister came to see me Taking The Plunge. It was ACE and I loved having her here. We were both tackling fears together: she took flight and I plunged (it occurs to me that were we to have switched actions it would be terribly detrimental to both concerns...).

Well who'd have thought?! Just because it may possibly be the most Beautiful picture ever. This one is from my 'B' party. No labeling here, those who know you know you... ;)


Isn't this the most FABULOUS picture ever? Left to right (in descending order) Teresa, me, Gemma, The Girl With Brown Curly Hair. From the crazy day in the parc as mentioned in Coincidence?

I shall try and add visuals as I go from now on. Also, I do in time want to acknowledge fabulous things/events/people that haven't been mentioned on the blog as yet since, believe it or not, my life is bigger than what I write about on here! And it started before April 27th 2008, though some may argue that was merely the shadow of an existence...

Allelujah!

We have a break through.

I cannot accept any credit for this - Caro dealt with the situation while I sat and blogged about it. I like to see myself as the impartial observer... kinda like a war photographer.

So thank you Caro for all your help. Muchos gracias! :-D

I would like to add that the whole process was incredibly clean and ladylike, as becomes a household of three clean livin' ladies.

Hey. Makes you re-evaluate don't it. When the toilet flushes, what can I really complain about?

New House Rule

- No shitting.

We are currently suffering from a drainage problem in the Water Closet. Until normality is resumed I would kindly ask all users to refrain from solid wastes; any if at all possible. We would like to advise the immediate ceaseage of all fruit consumption and encourage all inhabitants to eat as much white flour as possible.

Cordially,
Lady of the House

This is NOT what I needed today.

Hurrah!

I now know how to put pictures on my blog. It really isn't hard is it? Watch this space...

I am the way the truth and the light?

This is the post I started writing two days ago but I tangented off on the background information and there was too much going on to sensibly publish the two.

There are a lot of different takes on the message of Christianity.

For example the other day I saw two men, who looked like they could not really be any older than 20, dressed in matching suits with name tags. The only print big enough to read was Elder [followed by name] and then Jesus Christ. I really wanted to ask them who they were - Google tells me possibly Latter-day Saints?

Then I met my first Rastafarian. That was interesting.

It was of course one of my friends from the JdM. While we were hanging in the park on Tuesday the predominant conversation ended up being about God. Cool. I ignorantly did not consider that given he was from Jamaica and talking about God and Jesus but with all these additional theories might mean he was in fact Rasta. It took me going home and looking up the King of Ethiopia to understand that his ideas were standard doctrine of that faith. Very eye opening that is for sure.

The four of us had such an amazing time. We discussed and debated things on so many levels and I was really challenged by some of what they had to stay. And a little disturbed by other things! Each one of them had very different view points and I tell you what, they knew their stuff! I am glad I got a mini bible for my baptism as it sure came in handy to have it in my handbag. At one point a friend of theirs walked by and said "What you believing that for, it was written by white men?" at which one of them turned round and replied "Don't give the white man so much credit!" The history of slavery and the appalling way that religion was used as a way to quell and control has not left people unmarred. Yet through this still others were denying the theories and saying "Don't let that tarnish the truth of it". Lindell told me that all he really thought mattered was love; and you know what, greater men have said that. I felt God in that conversation and it wasn't just 'cause He came with me.

One cool story from David the Rastafarian. His daddy asked him to go get his hammer and twice he went to look and could not find it. The third time he was sent the father said you better bring that hammer or you will be sorry. Apparently this man was the kind that would make sorry known in a less that passive manner. So, boy-David runs up to his room and prays really hard that God would help him find the hammer. When he opened is eyes it was there in front of him!

A conversation I had the other day with a friend of a friend about what it means to be a "church person" completely challenged me, as a recent acceptor of formal religion, to remember that people who do not follow my beliefs may have a real relationship with the Almighty God. He really is not as legalistic as we paint Him to be.

So. Am I saying that I think people from every faith or belief system have the same salvation as me? Well, I'm going to come out and be all fundamentalist about this and say No. Sorry but Jesus did say "I am the way the truth and the life, no-one gets to the father except through me." However, bearing in mind I had a relationship with God before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, I think it is safe to say that Christians do not have a monopoly on being loved by Him.

The way I see it we are all on a journey. There may be things that we do not understand or even accept about what other people hold true, but judgment is not where it's at. All we can do it live our own journey out, show them love and remember God is faithful. To everyone.

I would like to conclude this with a quote from my favourite Rastafarian:
"If you look deep within yourself and ask the question of the Most High, He will reveal Himself to you."
Tell me that man doesn't know God.

P.S.
On the project progress front I have a friend that is a squat visitor/music teacher, who shares my vision and would be here for the long-haul. Also there is a venue we seem to be able to use with people there that are keen to see this happen. I am a little overwhelmed... That said, take everything as it comes. All I know right now is that God is blessing these relationships (saw them again yesterday and we had a proper improv-sesh where they were teaching me to rap!) and so they shall go on. This isn't 'Sister Act' but it is ten times more exciting 'cause it is real.

Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool...

Right. Time to tell you about Jardin de Montbrilliant. It rocks!

I hung out in the park today with three homeless Jamaican men. I met them before my trip at the 'soup' (I've never seen them serve soup) kitchen on Rue de Montbrilliant and it was really cool 'cause 'til I did my lack of French was making me feel pretty useless; however, as the token Anglophone I was the only one who could actually talk to them. Today it was like being part of a 'crew': playing musac in the park through portable speakers and improv-ing over the top. Lindell, David, Sharpman and me - Blandie! As in bland. Nice.

We wanted to start working on getting some music up and running in that community. The vision for this came about a few weeks ago...
I first went down to JdM with a group from a local English speaking church and we had such a great time. There were plenty of volunteers and this gave us loads of freedom to speak to people as we served them. The result of this was that I got to do some singing with one chap (he was wearing a Beatles shirt and me a Johnny Cash so we connected on the common passion of music) which was ace! From here we had a proper good party with several others joining in on different numbers and a bit of reggae dancing to the macarena when someone put on the sound system. That was proper sweet!
Leaving there with a big grin I headed to the International School to see one of my students in a play. That place has the most amazing facilities and I have not seen kids in that healthy a school environment, well, ever. Really got me thinking and aspiring for things to be that successful back home in the education system. Moreover, I realised just how stark the contrast was between the morning and the afternoon.
And all this with the new filter of Christianity as well.

For the first time I realised how my objectives needed to be reset.

I have always had a passion for education, particularly with youth, in a bid to see improvements across the whole of society. Seeing communities brought together and supporting one another like 'back in the day' and generally seeking and implementing a solution that would make things better for everyone. A nice healthy dose of idealism. This day I saw a great example of things heading in that direction, that is at the school. I also saw the reality that was people who did not fit into this system. The question of "Is there a potential formula that means we could ever find a way where there will not be those excluded, suffering, underrepresented and generally discounted in society?" was reawakened. I always wanted to believe Yes and my goal was to find a way to see that happen...

But as a Christian I find that the answer is just No.

Not because I am more negative about sin or Satan or anything like that but simply because it is part of our call to look after the sick and the poor and the broken and do as Jesus did. Not to change the world but simply to be physicians and caretakers for the interim. On top of this is the realisation that I am not super woman and no matter what I like to think about potential, I myself am not God.

That is not to say that a) We shouldn't try to improve things. We are a long way from the best we can be and there is still a commitment to care for and love one another and strive for the propagation of this; and b) That God can't do amazing things making the impossible possible by His fabulous power and the work of His Holy Spirit (Wooo! The last member the Trinity finally gets a tag!).
I suppose my point really is that the objectives in this world, when you look from "The Kingdom's" perspective, are different to the secular approach of striving for perfection. Strange that with God I am now less passionate about making everything 'better'.

So. Music? Well, after all this thought provoking stimulation I then went on to have a cool jam session with Robyn and Caro and it was so great me that when me and Robyn debriefed on the rest of the day it seemed 'begging' to be included. Then my hubbie had a brainwave: Homeless Choir! Now, glib cheese aside the vision has become a community based music project, tapping into the individual styles to be found in that place.

I suppose when it comes down to it, with the understanding that there will always be those in need, the immediate call to change the basics of the situation wanes a little. If this is their life in all its fullness why not give a little more than a meal, an occasional bed and a lukewarm shower? Afterall, we all know that God hates the lukewarm.

So, what will come of this we are yet to see but prayers appreciated from all readers that go in for that. (Hee hee, and prayers for all readers that don't go in for that too! Lol.)

Peace out.

Cheeky Bast*rds!

What is with the whole "FREE" pricing for air flights?

I've been getting all excited about Ryanair's winter flights sale and having defo got the travel bug I thought maybe an end of term jaunt across to mainland Europe would not be a bad idea.

Currently tossing up between Vienna, Austria and Katowice, Poland. Vienna appeals 'cause I loved it and it has real significance to me now. Plus I reckon it would be beautiful in winter and anyway it defo needs a revisit at some point (particularly without the football fans). Katowice is just a combination of the fact that it sounds a bit like my name and it is in Poland (cool). I have no idea whether it is a nice place to go but it is somewhere new and so would be a bit more exciting to rock up to... that and I think I may end up adopting an Eastern European child at some point (Could that be more of a glib statement? There is reasoning behind but it is quite complicated, not that interesting and I have been writing posts that are too long recently) so want to get more of an affinity with the place/people.

Then of course Ryanair pull the stunt of say "from" in tiny letters and generally being really busy on their website (last day of sale) which is making it less and less appealing, the harder it gets.

But if I do get through to the website and find some decent prices, does anyone have an opinion? And feel free to challenge me on the seemingly obvious immorality of flight in general. It is sooo tempting but I rather think that I should be making a stand. That said I am not a vegan and one can find some fabulous reasons to be; not least the slaughtering of 2 day old male chicks just 'cause they were born the wrong sex (though it is hard for me to judge any industry that deems being male 'wrong'! Lol, just a girl power moment... you know I don't mean it: GRIN).

If I don't get round to booking maybe I will pretend that I am being moral about it. Do you think people will buy that?

Bye Bye Baby (don't make me cry)

Today I was supposed to be meeting a friend at their place early. She lived across town and I was to be there at 8.30 so I could help get her and all her cases to the airport where she would thus depart back to the USofA. Sadness. Also standard Geneva occurrence so we all get pretty hard hearts to it (till it's our turn that is... not thinking about that yet though).

So it was a bummer that my wake up call never happened. I only realised as my cell (nope, I can't/won't do it. It is a mobile; I already called my fringe bangs on Saturday I must stop this before it takes over) rang: it was 8.30 and I was 1 hr minimum from being at her place. Major whoops!

The thing that really peed me off about this whole situation was that I had really wanted to help her out and what I actually managed to do was make her life harder as she had to get down the hill with all her bags (instead of dropping one off the day before) while I rushed over to meet her at the bank so I could help get to the airport at the very least. I hate letting people down and it is rubbish to know that even when I want to be good I am still a fallible human. What hope is there if we can't even rely on ourselves?

I suppose that is what God is for. I mean I was crap and a total let down but still she met someone that gladly helped her to the bus stop (a good 10 minutes down a steep hill in the pouring rain); I got there in record time and met her easily; we got to the airport fine and she still at least got someone to say goodbye to (not to mention she was very forgiving of my faux pas); her flight had been rearranged the day before which was going to make her change in London a LOT easier and as we prayed in the luggage queue for her to not be over-allowance she gets to the desk and they say she had 32 not 23 kgs. Wow! (Some may argue a bummer she did not know sooner I suppose, but that does not help me make my point! She would have struggled to get 64+ kilos on a bus at the other end anyway...).

We then sat in the restaurant and had a drink and a cry and a bit of a pray. We were sitting eyes shut (I know, how cliché) and when we opened them someone had left a pile of napkins on the table for the purposes of tear wiping! How lovely is that?! Awww. People aren't always rubbish now are they?

But I have learnt plenty of other times that they can be (rubbish that is... haven't we all?!) and it is hard to realise that oneself can be too. I suppose it is humbling in a way and reminds us not to be pissed at the people that let us down since we are all just as crappy. The tenuous lesson I would like to take from today (just because I can) is therefore that people can suck, they can be great but that God is always spot on. (Well as evidence thus far proves. All scientists know that it takes infinite successful experiments to prove a theory and only one failed one to disprove it, so we have to agree after "many" trials that something seems consistently reliable, build our whole life upon it and hope that it doesn't all fall apart at the last variable. But then, it's either that or have no theory at all...)

Bye bye Andrea, you will be missed... See you in Nashville!!

Stop The Press

I was going to write about a fun time had with rafting today (though I am now publishing on Sunday as I never got round to finishing the post). First day back in Geneva and I went off on some rapids going at it hardcore and even swimming down a mini-waterfall. Cool or what!

But then something even more amazing happened... I lost my virginity!! Shock value is to be attributed to Robyn, you know what that saucy minx is like. Today was the first time I ever drove a car on the 'wrong' side of the road. Actually it was the right side but it definitely felt strange.

Kudos to be attributed to Beautiful Brian for being so muchos generous and trusting of me with his mega beast of a car. (Though I did later find out he is already scheduled in for a paint job in two weeks!) We were having a BBQ and had shamefully forgotten the marshmallows so he the darling that he is said I could take his car to the Intermarché down the road. I did a roundabout and everything!! And I know that other people were happy for me 'cause I got all kinds of lovely encouraging beeps ;-)

Yeah, first time on the other side; first time in years in an automatic (you may think it's easier but when you are using the break as a clutch...); first time in 6 months that I have even been on the road and all this in a giant 4x4 machine. Good thing I prayed!

The rafting was excellent as well and yet another new experience. As was the dins afterwards: I tried the North America treat smorges (sp??) which takes the classic melted mallow and sandwiches it between Graham Crackers and then adds chocolate. Those Yanks sure like to take things to a new level... Also, beforehand me and the Mr/Mrs went to the international school fair (kurmesse) and set up a stall for her peace building work - I got to do hand printing!! We had a whole judo class dressed in white join in, so yet more risk taking...

Taking risks. It is fun and the results are all the better for it, since you would never have the win if you didn't make the gamble. I have not really mentioned my time in Zurich yet, simply cause I have been 'quite' busy, but I learned a lot there not least about the idea of healing. I know God can do it and I am quite excited to think that maybe 'one day' I will see it first hand in a really real way but well, why not make one day today?

Miracles in general are a tricky thing since, let's face it, they don't always happen the way we ask. I mean take healing: the Bible says ask and it shall be given; it also says that God wants to see people made well and Jesus certainly never picked and chose. So when you look at 'failed prayers' there is a lot of space for potential hurt and confusion. And one of the reasons is that the issue of insufficient faith get bandied about. Well, I asked the guy at the meeting and he was pretty cool about it. He said that Yes, faith is integral but in so many ways. The faith of the receiver, the prayer, even other people around can all be seen in different bible stories (lady who bled, when the disciples prayed, the friends of the guy who got lowered...) but lack of faith is not sufficient to get in the way of healing if God so desires.
"What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? Not at all!" (Romans 3: 3&4a)
So I think that attaching blame or judgment to those that do not see healing just isn't on.

Because the thing is, we can never understand what God is doing in the bigger picture. There is a difference between getting to know God better and getting to know God and He will always surprise us if he wants to. (Aside: I was saying today that in the past two weeks I had been 'wise' twice! A 'good friend' turns round and says to me that maybe my spiritual gift is Surprise! Meanie. Not totally biblical but totally funny as an idea of what that gift might look like... Back to God...)

One of the key things about the whole question though does seem to be boldness. We need to be able to ask God and be prepared for bad answers, no answers, rejection and foolish appearances. (On the subject of foolish appearances I was sitting on the train from Zurich to GVA yesterday and had a lovely seat: quiet carriage and space to even put my feet up and rest on the table. Then the ticket man comes along and I had even learnt to have my demi-tariff ready. Not sufficient. He looks at it then at me and sternly points out that I was in 1st class. Whoops! I had not meant to at all, it was one of those double decker trains and I didn't know they did classes. Nothing is worse than packing up and realising for the first time that everyone around was really posh and must have been looking at me dodge the whole way; then walking through all the other carriages with people clearly knowing why you were moving; and then arriving in 2nd class to realise that the reason the guard didn't trust you was 'cause it was choca block with soldiers and football fans and they all saw me looking for a seat with 3 bags in tow and probably also knew that I had been, how shall we say it, dislodged? Good thing I don't have to be ashamed anymore isn't it! Back to God...)

But it is hard not to feel foolish or indeed afraid of being let down. That is where the risk taking comes in. Sometime asking God for a miracle is the biggest risk of all because your faith has the potential to be damaged or nullified if the results are not what you hoped.

For example...

I was trying to unscrew a really tight bit on an easel today and it would not budge. So, I thought: let's pray. If God can release demons He sure can loosen bolts. I was totally confident in this new exciting idea of the miraculous and yet it was not moving. Bit deflating actually 'cause even though I am aware that you can't assume God would answer just so, in a way I was like "why not?" Doesn't He wants to help and bless us and is generally the King of the Universe...?

Anyway, we get on with the problem solving and two minutes later I realise that that bolt did not need undoing. In fact, it was holding a large part of the construction together...! I can truly see now that that prayer was not one to be answered.

But what would have happened if there was not this saving factor of a reason? How could I have reconciled that unanswered prayer? Well, maybe the thing is that there always is - a reason that is. Somewhere God has underlying purpose, we just need to be aware that we cannot always understand it. There are constructions that are harder to figure out than the mechanical design of an easel.

So, risk taking is scary. And I think more so with God than in the physical world (unless the physical world involves being fully dependent on God to be your own personal ski instructor! I will not go on another tangent today though...) as there you can see the full extent of the outcomes and have a rough idea of what you are working with. But, with that step of boldness comes huge rewards and so given the screw was not a complete let down maybe next time I will try for sommat else...

Sorry about the length of the post. Everyone that reaches the end gets a Gold Star!

Package Deals

A review.

My trip is coming to an end. Indeed, I am in my final destination as I write this and come ce soir I will be back in the Brooker-Bright love nest, complete with lots of dirty washing and a serious need for intensive conditioner... I don't think I have ever been this excited about people speaking French to me; I sure won't miss looking like a total retard - partial suits me so much better.

So what say me about the whole experience? Well, I am not entirely sure if I have managed to capture just how much of a blessing my travels have been, so I suppose I shall just state it in a really boring obvious manner - better that than miss the point entirely and have you thinking I just had a nice lil' hoilday, which frankly would be an utter misjudgment.

For one thing, I have had a fair few experiences where I have not been conventionally happy. That is to say I've cried, been angry, been lost, been lonely, been starkly not lonely(!), missed opportunities and wasted precious time on fruitless pursuits. In all of this I have at times wanted to give up, go home, throw things or get drunk. Some of those things I may well even have done...!

So, what is my point exactly?

God was with me the whole time.

Do you know the 'Carlsberg don't make [insert word here] but if they did they would probably be the best [repeat word here] in the world' adverts? Well, foolishly and more for the sake of the phrase, I was about to say that God doesn't make holidays but if He did they would doubtless be the best holidays the world. Then I realised that God DOES make holidays. He is a travel agent. An agent of all things in fact. He's an interior designer, a consultant physician, a head chef and a traffic warden. There ain't nothing that He can't do and whatever He does do He do's the best.

What a fabulous role model for us all. That and a continual blessing :-)

I've learnt so much about listening to God, then relistening to God (and no doubt in due course will be learning to rerelisten to Him too). I eventually got the realisation that He wants to be my number 1 all the time and have since been delighted as He started to show me how. Even better, as I made mistakes and felt like I was failing at putting Him first, He showed me that it was ok. Wanna hear a cute story as to how?

Well, I gonna tell you anyway.

Remember how I said in Vienna that I gave someone directions having just got off the train? Well, as I wrote about it in my journal (like my blog but with the juicy bits left in and souvenir train tickets stuck inside the front cover) I realised that God was doing more than giving me a friendly face. What happened was this:

She approached me about 30 seconds after I had left the flat for the first time. I was taking a walk and was in a 'bit' of a bad mood - tired from traveling and being a grumpy cow that was frightfully aware of it and totally inept at dealing with it. Just before we met I had been saying to God how I had let Him down/would shortly be doing so. You know, when you feel bad about it but haven't got the drive to stop it happening? I warned Him that I would be no use at all in Vienna but was instead falling off the path for a bit, which was really rubbish given I thought I had been doing so well since my B and had half hoped it was be the end of all that crap! (Note, I am a perfectionist and am well aware that this was not realstic but was clinging onto the dead sinful nature part of things as opposed to the thorn in the flesh warning... but that's a whole other topic.)

Anyway. A sweet Austrian girl at the tram stop asks me for directions to the number 37 (we were at 37a which strangely is in a totally different place). Observe here that everyone it seems speaks two languages - I felt like a reet fool. (And by here I mean anywhere that isn't England). Now, David had recently texted me info for getting into town using the number 37 tram and at the time I had thought "Fool why did you do that? I have to be at your place in an hour so as to let you in 'cause you gave me your keys..." Suddenly, the message had a use and I was able to take Agnes to the stop. We had a nice but pretty mundane conversation and afterwards I was like "Ok God, it gave me sommat to do I 'spose. No major wisdom or messages from You but maybe it was supposed to cheer me up, what with her cute smiley Austrianess". It didn't really work but at least I felt a bit good helping her get there.
Then it hit me (only two days later) that what He was really saying is this:

It doesn't matter if you are being or feeling rubbish, God can still equip and use you to His own special purpose if you let Him.

Now, stands to reason really. I mean, I don't know about you but I am pretty sure that even when I am on 'top form' I am probably not actually as good as Jesus. So, seeing as we always have to be topped up by God in order to be of effect, what difference do our own fluctuating and finite measures of goodness make anyway?

The key is not in how much we have to offer: it is never enough (remember the loaves and fishes...). It is in the offering that He rejoices and uses us. Obvious when you think about it but how cool that He will arrange the universe around us, just to make sure the message gets through?

For those of you avid followers that saw me planning my social life in the comments, I am currently sitting in an über cute farmhouse about an hour outside of Zurich. I didn't make it to the city and will not now given how late it has gotten, but what I did do was SO MUCH better I don't care in the slightest. More to follow but basically God was at work yet again and I slept in a Heidi hayloft last night and petted a cow this afternoon. Could it be more of a Swiss experience?

Geneva I have missed you and can't wait to get back; but be warned, I done gone changed again. Two and a half weeks post baptism, I would say a big fat "Wow!". Who the hell am I anyway?

Laters, x

Vienna: I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away.

I never though I would be the person that screams out "You fucking arsehole!" in the streets of one of the cultural capitals of the world. But I did. And I make no apology.

I have met some perverts in my time, indeed in the past few days have been some priceless examples one of whom will be getting a post of their own in due course, but I have never been so outraged in all my life.

After a ABSOLUTELY fabulous night and day in this spectacular capital of Austria I really was feeling moved to perfection. This is by far the most beautiful city I have ever had the priviledge to spend time in (more so than Budapest, I kid you not) and I am even now looking into a way to get to move here for a while, in due course. However nothing, I repeat NOTHING, can excuse the behaviour of a certain Venetian man this evening.

That said, I cannot be sure he was a local. One of the main reasons for this is that we are currently amid the Euro season and I totally overlooked the fact that I was going to be in one of the major football centres. I'd left Geneva thinking "I'm escaping at just the right time" only for it to hit me on the train that I was heading into the fray... It did not affect my day too badly in the long run but it certainly notices as there is a huge 'fan zone' set up in a park between the museums and the parliament - forcing you to purchase McCafes and overpriced Carlsberg and throw away your bottles of water. It seems to be a bit of a repeating occurence that by chance I end up at these major sporting events abroad and it is kinda exciting, so after taking Dave out for a thank you dinner (OMGoodness, all you can eat sushi for €14!!!) I headed off to catch the end of the Swiss-Turkish game and soak up the atmosphere.
There was none.
Now, I must admit to having had a wry smile when I heard the English were not in the Euro. I was kinda glad they weren't going to mess up my town. But you know what, at least they know how to party. It was boring and unfriendly and the only time there was any action was when Turkey scored their first goal; then I became very aware of my location in a pocket of Turkish supporters wearing my 'I heart Switzerland' T-shirt. I left soon after to go on a rambling attempt to find David and his friends. Well, at least I can say I was there... Euro '08 man, livin' the dream.

So, what was it that affronted me so very very much? Well, in context I really did have a truely marvelous day even though I didn't get to do very much specific things and had no idea where I was at given I forgot to get a map, so literally spent 10 hours wondering in circles thinking 'there has to be a centre somewhere I will follow the big beautiful old buildings' and quickly realising that that is all Vienna has. It was incredibly cool though and gave me a good chance to think and chill and eat weird sausage and go through a market and... ooh ooh tangent: I was in this market and an olive man made me eat one of his olives even though I didn't understand and didn't want an olive and it seemed to have a chilli inside. He insisted it was a pepper but he was lying. Remember - fallible! I swear I nearly died and it gave me terrible hiccups (Question: hiccoughs?).

Anyways, great day. Then what happens? Well, as wondered aimlessly towards where David was, without really knowing 'cause I was only well practised at being lost in Vienna, a cyclist comes scarily close to me on the pavement. I shriek a little at the danger but that was not even close to the end of the issue. The b***ard (I am a little calmer now so will refrain) grabbed my behind and whilst doing so lifted up my floaty (but not at all sluttily short) white summery skirt, then continued on his way!!! DISGRACEFUL. Needless to say I chased him down the street hoping he would have to stop at the lights. Though really, is that the kind of man that follows traffic procedure?

After that there was a bit of a damper on things. Maybe it's the football, it does strange things to people. I am however a little suspicious it might be a crazy sport in Austria given that one of the people I met at the pub later (you gotta love Irish pubs abroad) said quite brazenly that he enjoyed doing that when he sees an opportunity and can never say no...! What is this world coming to I do not know. He did say he never grabbed, only lifted a little in a jokey way, but I still think that is not a valid excuse.

Rounding up the day I am not too upset now. It seems a little more funny and Vienna did totally speak into my heart (awww, soppy moment). I want to share one of the things that I found as I wondered lost round the streets that really was kinda worth it for this alone. A mural on a wall which, I hope I do not misquote, said something along the lines of:
"Do not try to be an apple if you are a banana. You will only be a second rate apple"
Love it. Also, it ties in with what D was saying about me on the first night. He remarked that he had forgotten how loud I was... then added that it was ok 'cause it just meant he didn't have to work so hard at the conversation since I did enough for both of us! I liked that, it is a new take on the concern I sometimes have of being "too much" and yeah, I am reminded that it ok to be bananas if that's what you are. Anyway, nobody likes a bad apple.

I am leaving in the morning. Only just realised and thought I had time for Klimpt but I don't which is a shame. Well, I will just have to return won't I. Hmmm, I have done this rather late and it is not as succinct as I would have liked. Also, the spellchecker is not working and I can't be arsed to go into Word. You will have to be more forgiving whilst I am writing from abroad me thinks. Now, I must sleep as it's gone 2am and I am up at 7. Silly silly Kat(i)e.

N'night!

David is...

in Vienna! So, yeah, David is the guy who has so generously allowed me to stay in his place these next 2 nights. We last hung out 6 years ago; and by hung out I mean shared the same lift to school and I was incredibly scared of him - older, meaner and cooler than I knew how to be! So it proves pretty interesting to be getting to know each other. Already impressed him with the fact that I used to leave the car and get on a bus in the opposite direction to go shopping in London! Oh for simpler times...

Thus far I am pleased with Vienna. Admittedly I have only seen the underground and the supermarket but as these things go they are quite fabulous. I went for a short walk, having refreshed from an intense train journey across Eastern Europe, and within 30 seconds I had made a friend - someone asked me for directions and I could give them. Impressed? I was!

But Budapest - I would not wish to skim over it. I had one intense day there: walking tour in the morning, Cathedral when it rained and getting lost as I trekked across the city to find one of the spas. That was nice but I tell you what, don't go by yourself. Maybe it's me but sitting around in hot water is only interesting for a short time. After that you just get wrinkly. Also, I am pretty sure that the main difference (natural water source aside) between baths and a swimming pool is that the rule "No Petting" is not in place. I mean seriously, these people are sick; you don't know where to look. It would have been better if I had not been so utterly confused by all the Hungarian and had the jacuzzi actually been open but atleast I can say I went. A true Budapest experience. Afterwards I went for a romantic 'posh dinner' to treat myself, with sparkling wine and everything. You have to love the prices over there... That and the architecture. And the people. It is a good town and I will be returning at some point foe show.

Each destination has been teaching me something new. About life, myself, God. How far I've come and how far yet to go. One of the biggest things (literally and metaphorically) in Budapest was the cathedral. St Stephen is the patron saint of Hungary because he rescued them from their "heathen ways" and was so respected they got permission to use him as the focal point of the design. Well, I am not going to comment on denominational issues 'cause really they are the things that divisions and non-love are made of and certainly a manmade derivative of a true relationship with God. But, I was rather troubled in the St. Istavan (Steven, I don't know the spelling and am going to use as many versions as possible) cathedral yesterday. There was a picture of the crucifixion at one of the altars in the church and I have been discovering lately what iconography can mean as a way to fix oneself on the truth. That is, realising and rerealising exactly how horrific and traumatic it was for Jesus to do what I believe he did in order that I may be transformed and ultimately saved. As I left it really did not sit right with me that that this image was tucked away in an alcove while a fallible man was glorified at the centre of the house of God. I supppose that to me was symbolic of all the things I don't like about my life and points me in the direction that I must next go in order to continue growing in Him. That is, making Jesus my focal point.

So yeah, seeking God in the spirtual world. Vienna in the physical. I am excited to see how the two will overlap...

Amazing Hostel

When that is the name of the place you are staying, and said residence is costing 16 Euros for 2 nights, you may be astute enough to not have high expectations. You would be wrong, this is by far THE most wonderful place I have ever lived and am comparing with my own home, that of my parents and all 5 star Swiss chalet hotels in Gstaad (check me out!).

I was not planning on blogging this evening. At the very least I may have made a note in my journal. I am however so totally impressed with ALL Hungarian folk that I simply had to share the smile with you all.

I arrived well after 930 (local time) after a delay and what not. The airport tourist office advised me to get a 22 Euro shuttle to my hostel but given that I was only going to be here till Tuesday morning (and it was overpriced) I decided I simply had to do it properly. Train, tram and wondering the streets...

My phone battery was dead along with the hostel address so I had to find someone to help me briefly charge it, though only long enough to get the street name. No matter, I was all about being alone and independent in the streets of Budapest. This, I have decided, is the best way to be. There is nothing more exciting than the moment you step into a new place without a clue what you are going to do next, no money and no language skills...

Within minutes a lady on the train was helping me identify my stop. She taught me how to say thank you, I still can't do it but atleast I am trying and I wrote it down so I could practise. At the trolley bus a girl came and asked me if I was ok after she witnessed me endlessly pouring change into the ticket machine (running to the shops halfway through to get more) and stamping my feet in mock frustration. I ended up paying more than the price of a ticket but with nothing to prove as such. All was well though, she assured me they would not check and it was true. In the time I was waiting for my tram to turn up (not including the two that had passed while I faffed about) another lady asked me if I needed help. Atlteast, I think she did - She didn't speak English so I wasn't sure what was going on but there was lots of smiling and pointing at my map which then induced the fourth one so far to offer me assistance. Hence, I like Hungarians. I am also going to firmly believe that it is not just 'cause I look perpetually gormless.

Anyway, mum. I have arrived safe and sound at my AMAZING hostel and am all clean from the best shower I've had in a long time (this could be rose tinted from the fact I was really dirty). It's tucked away inside a really big half derelict old building which even at night is amazing and I think I may cry when I see it in the morning. The staff and resident residents are very friendly and the first conversation they were having was about where in Switzerland the Euro was being held - I think I may know that one (aside: how glad am I not to be there this week...).

I wasn't really hungry (I'd bought a wierd savoury croissant to break a note. I think it may have had ham in which may or may not have been cooked) but one of the residents offered me a glass of wine (gladly recieved) and a a whole pizza (politely refused and then forced upon me until I ate a slice and now feel kinda sick). He is sweet but I not totally convinced by sincerity of friendliness. Maybe wearing a ring on my wedding finger is not enough... Oh well, I turned down the offer (thrice and counting) of him going out to buy more wine and think perhaps if I continue to refuse the dinner invite I will be OK! Arggh, getting into scrapes before I even start. It is ok to lie in this situation isn't it (insert question mark here). I mean, I try to just say no but sometimes I don't think it qualifies as an answer.

Well, I feel totally blessed and protected right now so I sure it will be fine. Roll on walking tours and Hungarian cuisine (what do they eat here anyway QQ).

Laters!

The Start of a New Chapter

I wish travelling wasn't so damn stimulating. How am I supposed to sum up my perceptions of Dublin the 20 mins I have to kill before boarding a bus that will take me to a plane that will set me on my pathway to Eastern Europe?

Overall perception on most recent leg of journey? This is the first time I have "travelled" with other people. I have visted with them, stayed with them, crashed with them, lived with them, gone on holiday with my family... but I have never been a traveller in company. I like it. Makes for a different dynamic. It helps that the people I came with were pretty damn cool and very easy going but I must say I am relieved to see the back of them!

Jokes. It has been unreal and I would do it again in a shot. What I really mean is that I am ready to be alone, do some exploring and really fulfill my pretentious side by sitting in cafes writing poetry, journalling and generally spending all my time in internal thoughts. Five days of that should be enough but I do think I am rather overdue: it may have been about 8 months since I last found the time and I could be described as somewhat frazzled.

I do like Ireland. I don't love it but I acknowledge that I am yet to see the really defining features (Guinness factory and fighting aside) and feel like a horse drawn caravan is the real way to do this country. It is a little hard to say, given that I have not been in England of late aside from a 19 hour stop over on Tursday (working on the accent) but I think it may be kinda similar. I could be wrong but it's been kinda cool to feel like I am introducing my North American buddies to my culture - exchanging conglomerate coffee for karaoke (yes it's Japanese but we definitely have our own take on it; more to follow...).

The one mistake I have made is letting other people (namely Nathan) do all the navigating while I sat back into Darryl mode, following and taking pictures (unfortunately my pics are not yet up to Darryl standard but I can pretend). Now I am readjusting by going to the airport 45 minutes after the boys (Robyn and Andrea left this morning and Emma is sticking around with her family) to remind myself how to do this alone. Afterall, I can't leave Dublin only being able to find the Starbucks can I?

The next chapter begins and I am looking forward to it. Budapest watch out...

A Postcard from the Emerald Isle

Seeing as you are still checking in on the blog, thanks by the way, I feel like I should write a quick note to you all.

Bristol. Wopnderful. Lovely time with sister, Ana and new bar/restaurant place. Excited to return, loved the fact that it was the same but yet different. Update on the Oreo's: there is a big campaign to bring them in and they even have Oreo McFlurry. Love it!

Dublin. Ace. The Irish are friendly, all is forgiven from past experiences of them. I met a museum man that was wonderful and friendly and told us the following:
That he was the original caveman, never learnt to drive, never had a mobile phone, didn't have a passport. He was cool. Told us he liked to walk his dog but had little success teaching him how to switch on the TV... very fabulous not withstanding the accent which just made it momentous. Art gallery good, food good, beer good, very aware that there is lots to sample in life and little (relatively speaking) time so just gotta take what you can and chill out.

Hopefully beach tomorrow and the Guiness factory.

In other news, Darryl is a liar. I heard him speak French.

In summary: Bailey's cheese cake is a gimic, Irish stew is not; it is confirmed that God resides in the UK and Ireland as well as Switzerland-yet to pass judgement on Hungary and Austria but it looks good...

Now have many things to do, hostel internet may run out and anyway how sad am I to be here and not doing something Irish or at the very least sociable. This must be the fastest blog I have ever written and the quality will be testimony to that. Oh well, what can you do.

Last funny anecdote to keep you interested: Robyn and I rolled down a hill in skirts. It's pretty rubbish as far as funny stories go but the pictures are cute and I can't be arsed to think harder.

Ta ta!

Bon Voyage

Is there anything sadder than wishing myself a good trip?!

Anyway, I have a ridiculous amount of things to get done before I head off this afternoon into the blue but I am feeling enough (false) confidence in the 5 hours I have ahead of me to write a quick post.

Yet again so much to say, so little time. Hmmmm, why not give you a bit of an itinerary...:
-Today I head off to Bristol and am excited to be seeing my darling sister and her hubby this eve :-D
-Tomorrow the morning will be spent with Ana there - woohoo! Then I am off to meet the Swiss guys in Dublin! (Crazy how small the world has become, is it not, that my two lives can run so fluidly together across 3 different landmasses.)
-So, I will be in Dublin till Sunday night. Apparently there is not that much to do there but with the Guinness factory nearby and lots of Irish people I am sure we will easily make our own entertainment.
-Then from Sunday evening this is where the real excitement begins, as I head off to Budapest on my own; to goodness knows what with no hostel booking, no idea of Hungarian stuff and not much time to discover such things since I am then voyaging back to Geneva via...
-Vienna! I haven't got a ticket to get there but I have a ticket out next Thursday so I must make sure I make the transition at some point around Monday night/Tuesday morning. I am fortuitous (must watch that language) enough to have somewhere to rest my head, courtesy of the boy we used to do lift shares with at school. Random or what? Nice to have someone able to give me a bit of a low down on Viennese life so that will be fun, as long as I work out how to buy the ticket (Hungarian anyone?).
-Then, since I return to GVA via Zurich, I thought I'd stop off there for the night and check out what all the fuss is about. Some say it's great, some say it's sleazy; I wonder if they just appreciate different things in life?
-Friday is my set day for return. I will be beat and smelly and who knows what colour my hair will have gone (damn it I didn't write the insightful post about my recent trip to the salon, that will have to wait now...).

Part of me wants to blog-it while I'm gone and the other part knows how sad that is. I suppose it will mostly depend on my connectability to cyberspace but if I get the chance I will probably take it. So watch this space for Irish jokes, Austrian anecdotes and Hungarian folklore. If you don't hear from me at all don't worry (mum) I will just be having too much fun... [Resisting urge to make comment about potentially being stuck in a basement somewhere.]

Will leave you with something vaguely interesting so if you got this far it doesn't seem like a waste of your life:
You know how rabbits eat their own poo 'cause there are nutrients in it that they missed the first time? Well, did you also know that if they are pregnant and are in conditions (like ill health, little food etc) which are not conducive to a successful litter, they can reabsorb the foetuses into their system? I think that maybe we over look bunnies, they have a lot of crazy stuff going on inside that fluffy innocent exterior...

Don't forget to miss me!

Fanks Guys!

130 visits in a week. That's enough for me. There are approx 4 people out there with too much time on their hands! Keep it up :-D

She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead

I don't like how fabulously enthusiastic my blog has gotten. For goodness sake, I must be coming across as a mental soft head going on about Jesus like all my problems are solved and the world is made of sunshine and flowers. Well, it's not true and I can't deceive you anymore. Even Kat(i)e gets pissed off and today I want to tell you about that.

The first annoying thing is that I had a 'fabulous' thought on the bus about this blog and I forgot it. I can remember that it was definitely AMAZING but can I recall what it was? No.

The second annoying thing is that I don't have the right to be annoyed. I had a great day, saw and spoke to loads of lovely friends, went to the ILO for lunch(!), had wonderful conversations all about the future and hope and faith and empowerment and all sorts of stuff; work was even cool and I felt like I was almost making a difference. On top of that this past week rocked out and I had lots of encouragement and drive and passion and vision and what not. Great stuff. Then, suddenly, no.

I suppose sometimes it just gets too much. When God is great but He is not in your face it is easy to focus on the world and let Him get blurry in the background. That doesn't have to take very long, we're not talking years or weeks or days, I am vulnerable enough that even after a couple of hours of despondence or laziness; a stupid rom com (they are definitely emotional pornography); a song on the radio or a bad Facebook moment, I am all about humanity and it's failed promises. It's so easy for stuff like that to get you down and make you feel worth less than you are with a big fat "L" plastered across your face. Or angry with a big fat fist plastered across someone else's. Or possibly a combo of the both.

Oh happy day, I remembered! Let's reference it back to Screwtape shall we. Natural undulations leave us going up and down (I like to see it as having a sinusoidal spirit) making it feel sometimes like things have gone bad when really it is just the seasons of life. In this knowledge however, the downs do not have the power to keep us from the wonderful state that is a relationship with God - who by the way is always true to his promises. Do not despair, recall Ecclesiastes and remember too that one day perfect we will be.

[I am also annoyed by how sickly sweet this entry has gone and gotten when all I wanted was to moan :-S]

Ma'wedge... tha dweam wivin a dweam

T'other day I was havin' a chat with Darryl (by which I mean I talked across him about me as he tried to tell me about apertures) and he said that he thought I was the kind of person that would need to 'be with' someone that was able to give me lots of stimulation - suppose that is 'cause I am all loud and excitable and what not. I was not at all convinced. I mean, I get verbose about things all on my own quite a lot of the time anyway. For those that know me, doesn't the idea of someone who would magnify that just scream terrifying? Darryl even got my point that were I to be in that situation I may just explode. Kinda why it works so well with Robyn and I me thinks. I can be quiet, I like being by myself; indeed, sometimes all I want is for people to bugger off!

But this blog is not about finding my match. For one I am quite content to pine after Colin Firth for the next 10 years as I go about being a busy career woman (OK, as I sit in my flat with my cat and blog and write poetry and cross-stitch and grow my own veg) before I start to fret about the biological clock. And that is good because, besides the impossible task of finding someone with the right balance of calm, capable and visionary (I feel a Mr Perfect blog coming on one day but those three are a concise list for now), I need a lot of time to plan The Wedding.

Yes, there is of course a Wedding. You may think I would be unwise to share it with you, given that they are supposed to be a big exciting time and well, these are the plans that surprises are made of. But they are also the plans that broken engagements are made of and it seems a little optimistic that were I to find Mr Right he would also be Mr Themed Wedding. Alors, I can only live this one out through sharing it with you.

Well, the dress will be white and though I have some ideas it is not the most important thing. Surprisingly, the bride in this one plays a relatively small part (the groom even less so!) and anyway, I have to hold a little back. So, the only outfit info is the shoes. They will be red and sparkly and I have always know this. That is not subject to change.

And it is from the shoes that everything else stems. Yes, you must have guessed it: The Wizard of Oz.

So. What does this involve? Well, first off I will walk down the aisle to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". The Eva Cassidy version of course. Except, the aisle will actually be paved with yellow bricks (there could be some scope for lino to be used). The church will be emerald green and flowers made of foliage only. That kind of thing.

My bridesmaids. Well there is only space for 3. No more, no less. My dog Wendy will be the ring-bearer with a little plaid coat and behind me are three creations of wonder: a silver foil-esque dress (tin man); a Hawaiian style grass skirt theme (scarecrow) and last but not least a fur creation (need I say, the lion). The last will be mostly leopard print 'cause it has to get in there somewhere but it shall involve a fluffy 'mane-like' trim. That should be just right.

The scene is set. Next is where the hubby will have to be a bit forgiving 'cause it is likely that his friends will not get to be ushers as they will probably not fulfill the necessary requirements. That is, I will need to hire actors of a certain height in order that they can effectively dress up as Munchkins. I mean, if it is legitimate to employ them based on their size to play a role in a film I don't think it is wrong to try and recreate that at a serious themed wedding. They may even be the ones from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' and could do a dance while people wait for me..?

That aside, we will need a tolerant pastor to marry us. The building I am not worried about, it is all about where we are happy (once you green wash something it doesn't really matter where it is) but the minister will have to be up for hiding behind a giant throne with a big moving head and talking through a microphone with a scary voice "DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN... " Not that big an ask really and I think it's less silly that writing your own vows. Oooooh, writing your own vows, maybe that is not such a bad idea now I think of it in this context...? "I want to walk this road with you in boldness, seeking love and in pursuit of common sense... and magical shoes"?

So, last one and this is just simple and obvious. I always wanted a gospel choir at my wedding and, without wanting to sound politically incorrect, I have come up with the perfect way to incorporate them: they can be an army of flying monkeys and the director will be the Wicked Witch of the West complete with hat and green skin. Maybe they could sing something from the musical while we sign the register?

I am not sure how I will incorporate Glinda in this. The MC of the reception? Perhaps she could be the maid of honour... Carolyn, good witch, yes? You'd get a wand.

But you know, of course I will let my husband choose some things. The song as we leave almost definitely. The button holes? No, I will need to supervise that. He does have to wear green. But there will be something...

Now really Darryl, you think I need someone that stimulates me?

Dresses, biscuits and other fabulous things...

Ways in which my new dress is like Jesus:
I love it
It is top quality
It makes me feel special
It's worth a lot
I found it in Geneva
I couldn't say no once I'd discovered it
It suits me
It covers a multitude of sins

Ways in which my new dress is not like Jesus:
It may not fit one day
It definitely won't last forever
I need to accessorize it so it keeps feeling special
There is a risk I will grow tired of it
I bought it in a shop (Zara to be specific) with money
It isn't worth everything
It's not great for every season
I don't want to make it Lord of my life
It doesn't cover all my sins

Another analogy using Oreo's:
I am so excited by Oreos. There may have been a time when one may have wished to make innuendos with biscuits (chocolate hobnob anyone?). OK, so innuendos are still fun; but what is even better is a tenuous religious analogy.

I came to Geneva without knowing God. I had heard of Him and had a vague idea of what He was about, but no personal experience. He may have had something to do with my move and certainly opened my mind to His love/presence/grace/promises/salvation since arriving, to the point where I can now say I am a fan. A big fan.

I also came to Geneva having never had an Oreo. I had only heard about them from Judy Bloom's Superfudge but I was not at all sure what they were, in fact I think I had visualised some kind of weird seed cracker. Since my arrival I have become acquainted with their tri-layer, cream-filled, chocolate covered, rich biscuity goodness and remain changed forever. So, likewise, I am a fan of the Oreo.

More importantly though, from watching the British T.V. channels I have here I am overjoyed to see an advert for Oreo's in the UK. They have come to England! Now, I am pretty sure that Jesus was in England before I left but the point is when I go back I will not be returning to my existence before God. Nor my existence before Oreos. All these breakthroughs are significant, permanent and life changing and will not be left behind.

Bring on the Oreos... and the future!