Resolutions and Change

Can I sum up in one post everything that I want to say?

The year is over. Only a few short hours away. Christmas has been an exciting but bewildering time. Having seen quite a few of my peers from my youth I have come into the realisation that I am on the cusp of being a grown up. Not a "young adult" or pretending anymore but actually fully matured with bills to pay and lives to plan. I'm not quite there yet but I reckon by the time my degree is over my establishment in adulthood will be well and truly made. I already am a bit of a wuss when it comes to late nights and hardcore socialising! My bob will be in place, my future starting to take shape and there will be no more excuses. Fortunately(?) I am not actually there yet but it seems close on the horizon...!

So where am I at? Well this term has seen me change as much as in the previous three months. A real time of finding and removing the bones and cleansing the land to get it ready for what is going to happen next. I feel my faith growing and am seeing more of God's power moving, in what feels like a direct result of that. I have had wonderful times of sharing what's happened to me, finding communities to build, experiencing good leadership and receiving great support. I've learnt that relationships and interdependency are what life is about and how we need to start actively working in our locality to be Jesus and see change occur.

Joy is oh so key. It is our strength even in the valleys, which these past few months have felt a bit like at times. But what a fruitful one it has been: really immediate and deep friendships with like minded people forming; establishing a Women of God community where we are seeking to live holistic lives of integrity; finding a place in Bristol as somewhere I feel my heart lies. Rediscovering love and what that is all about - everything. It is all you need. A many splendoured thing. I'm excited that two of the main things I have been involved in/am getting involved in are called Agapé and LoveBristol respectively. Love love love. God is love which is why it really is the most important thing, above all other agendas. I read 2 John yesterday and particularly appreciated how it was for a woman (though it really is relevant to everyone). This bit really jumped out at me:

"And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."

I've got chills they're multiplying. And it isn't the coffee... Which I drink now, from time to time. Probably the reason this post is a bit disconnected! Finding peace in myself leaves me a lot freer to do such things (in moderation obviously) though I don't think I like being this woosey so I won't make a regular habit of it!

What now then? As I go into the new year I have several practical goals for the next stage:

To start a trust fund like a scholarship for homeless people with a specific need. I hate meeting those that, for want of mere money, are trapped in a viscous and destructive cycle.

To start a free shop - let's beat the system man! I'm clearing out and as I slowly break free of the consumerist "stuff" pattern I want to see a trend being set for change. It's obviously not working and the world is finally starting to see it so let's facilitate that.

To give more to my communities, living an integrated holistic life and putting faith into practice.

To eat more "whole" foods and start cooking/baking from scratch.

To commit to finishing my degree and being dedicated to that - and finding cool God moments in the maths!

To pray more!! That's the hardest one I think.

To make more music (though I fear that is for the second half of the year once the work is done).

To write a student alternative newspaper that promotes living a different life to the way the world functions. On an environmental and economic slant promoting community, sustainability, rediscovered identity and creativity. Holistic living and a loving lifestyle. Sounds a bit glib but I have hopes and as we look for "Another Way" the idea is to introduce The Way, in Truth and be intentionally evangelical with it. 'Cause duh, that is the whole point isn't it? This last one goes in bold as it will require the most work and 'cause I want you to pray for it...!

On top of all this I want to see more of God's love and power in my life and get to know him more and deepen our relationship... but then really, who doesn't?!

Let's face it though. This is a lot and will take a hell of a commitment not to mention supernatural support. I feel, in order to be realistic, that from my perspective something has to give... and that something is going to be Baby Got Brit.

As I mentioned before, when I started writing I was in a different place. Half my time could be spent living and the other half telling my blog readers about it :-P Now I barely have a moment spare to tell myself and it is just unsustainable to try and capture it here. And we all know that unsustainable is not good. I am not nearly as compulsive which is great for me but means I am not obsessing over blogging and have found it increasingly hard to do so. There are tons of incomplete stories in my draft box and I have to accept that it just can't happen right now.

The thing is, as I have said before, writing alone isn't going to do very much. My observational skills have been honed and there is now no denying that I am fully equipped to understand all the analogies and can no longer hide behind the analysis - it is time to close my laptop and get my hands dirty.

It's not a total goodbye. For one thing once the degree is done it might be the right time - I am considering voluntary unemployment for a while (not that I will necessarily have the option anyway) which may or may not leave me free to write... plus I will still put the odd (quite literally) thing up in the interim if I write a poem or an article for proposed magazine. You never know, I may even pop by for a chat randomly or if I find something funny (so long as I don't use it as a procrastination tool - keep me accountable!) but the point is that my life is no longer going to be available for download. This processor can't cope with how big it's got - there are simply too many bits of information to communicate.

Lol, now it's over I'll suddenly want to be here all the time! I can't say for sure what will happen and once again this may be another big idea that doesn't quite work out and I will return, wiser. But, as with attempting a homeless choir in 3 months (check out 'Homeless Stuffs' tag) with limited French and no idea didn't quite pan into a Sister Act moment, it did still turn out with God saying it was cool. We had a gig at the end of the engaGE week and it was a wonderful time where there was joy living in that place, the staff suddenly went from miserable to fun loving and people got a chance to have the something-more-than-just-dinner moment that I first been inspired by. The last day I was there a lady spoke to me that never had before saying in perfect English that she had really enjoyed it and I felt like it had all been worthwhile. So I think even if my "big ideas" seem a little over-reaching it will be OK and God can turn them to something sweet. Better than doing Fuck All anyway, in't it?

Alors, bye bye baby, Baby bye bye. Who knows what the future brings... the story goes on but not right here right now. Stay in touch, the open invite still remains (though ideally do ring first!) and if we never "speak" again I hope to see you on the other side...

Love Kat(i)e x x x

Let's talk about sex, baby

My dad was good friends at university with the man that made the rubber ring around the bottom of a condom. Isn't that funny? He apparently blames Jo Brand for getting made redundant. This is because they also made femidoms, the sales of which plummeted when she called them sleeping bags for mice!

Oh the hilarity.

Got me wondering about condoms though and, whilst not wanting to sound too catholic, I'm thinking about how beneficial they have actually been to humanity?

I mean, back in the day guys just used to spill their semen if they didn't want to get a girl pregnant...

Ok, I may have stooped a little low there. I apologise for grossing people out and I know that in a lot of ways (not least for people that are in commited relationships, nay marriages, and don't particularly want to get pregnant or do it the bible way) contraception is almost definitely a gift from God. I am also aware that somewhere somehow we have gotten ourselves into a viscious cycle. In the UK the campaign to get kids to use protection is called RESPECT and can be seen here: part I and part II. I find this incredibly frustrating (though I think I might be the only one) and wrote a rant about it all on Facebook time ago (pre-God I might add). So, lets have a read...

I am fed up...
...of the British advertising campaign that is encouraging kids to use condoms when they are practising promiscuous sex. I get that condoms are better than not-condoms but really you do not get "respect" for using them. You just don't get AIDs or pregnant. Stop trying to get down with the kids so that you can reach them on their level and then try and help them by sticking a plaster on a severed limb. They need to learn from people they really can "respect" how they can best live their lives and then maybe just maybe they won't be endangering themselves every time they feel the urges of puberty and don't have a clue how to deal with it. Isn't it time we took the next generation of Britain seriously and start looking out for their emotional, and dare I sat spiritual well being, not just tackling it based on the philosophy that "we better make sure they don't cost the social and health system too much" and calculate that TV ads and free contraception will cost us less in the interim.

It is funny that we can stand up and say "kids think about drugs, don't just take them cause your mates are and they are enticing", but when it comes to sex not even the 'grown ups' are prepared to think that maybe sometimes we ought not indulge. I mean, yeah it's natural, but so are pregnancy and disease and they seem like pretty good indicators of the significance of the act - it both creates and destroys life and we have come up with a thin latex film to protect ourselves from the consequences. We live in an "if it feels good do it and science is working on ways to reverse the natural consequences" basis.

I am not sure who this type of sex is safe for. It seems merely to be 'preserving' modern society's lifestyle choices and now the kids want to do it too we have had to justify it for them so that we can carry on guilt free. Today's youth are vastly uneducated, unloved, undisciplined, unguided and yet thoroughly overstimulated; and we choose to use television advertisements to offer them frankly shit advice, in place of the parental and wider community support that they are lacking.


There you have it. Idealistic rantings of an ineffective, condescending nature. The videos, terrible as they may be, are at least trying to do something about it; which is more than can be said for me :-(