Returns Policy

First off, sorry about all the Christianity. I mean, not sorry per say but I am supposed to be writing a blog so that my friends can keep up with what I am up to and, well, I have non-Christian friends that I try and not talk to constantly about God so this one-sided conversational mechanism should reflect that. I will make more of an effort to include 'profane' anecdotes I promise!

Thus follows a long post with a vaguely spiritual feel and a strong I-wrote-this-when-I-should-be-in-bed feel...

I am very busy at the moment. Many ideas for blogs and no time to write!

However, I do not feel rushed or frantic in anyway. God has granted me the real gift of peace this last week and a half. The first week from my return I got so carried away and excited that I forgot to stop and just hang out with Jesus. It was one of the things I learnt when I was traveling and yet so quick to forget... Last weekend I was reminded of this and starting the following week (23rd) in a attitude of chillax was great. Someone very wise gave me some good advice on the Sunday which I have been following (or trying) and it really does help:
When God gives you something, give it back.
We are so used to the idea of giving up things for Jesus, or giving our grievances to Him; but remember the lady that prayed for a baby then gave Him to the priest (Samuel's mum?)...? Well when God gives us things, ideas, opportunities etc we can/should to say to Him "Ok, thanks, now here you go you decided what to do with this." Not opting out, just giving God control of what is going on.

This attitude totally transformed how I felt towards the choir. I would still go to lunch and be apprehensive (the French ladies who run that place are scary), there would still be exciting things followed by sudden blockages; but I was a lot more at ease. It was nice. It was also very inkeeping with what I feel this summer is about - spending time with God, learning as much as I can and enjoying life before I go back to England. In a spirit of The Kingdom yes but not with a push to get stuff done. This is the holiday season! [The work is sure to follow...]

And many blessings are coming along. Today I made a new friend and spent all afternoon with a hilarious Philadelphian vagabond (in his own words) who may or may not have been Bi-polar but was definitely cool. I am connecting with such wonderful people at the kitchen and the opportunities to talk about Jesus with them, or just share some of His love, seem copious. This is what it is about. Some big adventure which looks cool and seems spectacular is not how God is glorified, that is how men are glorified and His ways are different - the next thing I learnt--

--From the angle of stress I was doing much better but I think I had inadvertently developed the mindset that the reason a music project may not happen (we don't know but it is looking less likely in an official capacity... there is however a fantastic outreach project in Geneva next week called engaGE and there is some scope there perhaps) is 'cause that was too big and unfeasible for me and God wants to use people who know what they are doing (more exciting developments... the Salvation Army are looking for a choir master (!) and my friend who has been helping me would be perfect so it could well happen after all and anyway the long term nature of the project makes that much more fitting) and could handle something that cool so I was only entrusted with feeding them (had been letting this develop into a bit of a general mindset of big exciting things not happening to me which is another mistaken attitude but too long for this post)... Now. Duh. Apart from the fact that we are called to be servants and all that jazz (quite a big Duh) is the idea that when we are living out God's plans it is not a compromise or a reflection of how good we are or aren't. It is the perfect thing for us. We are not chosen for things 'cause that is all He has for us, it is WHAT He has for us. His ways are not our ways, His plans are higher than ours (see Isaiah 55 for a proper version, that was given to me by someone the other day and is SO relevant) and when I live in accordance with surrendering to Him what I am doing is the best it can be.

So in this I have even more peace. I am happy to let go of worrying about how to make things happen (especially in the light that it is being started up elsewhere), loving every minute of discovering His ways and enjoying how not a day goes by when in the evening I am not delighted at the fantastic experiences I have just had. I am becoming less and less surprised as I realise God has every moment in His will. I make the strangest friends; leave my phone in the stupidest places and then meet people by finding it; have the most enlightened and blessed conversations and find the coolest stuff in the street on the way home! Life with God is far more exciting that on my own. My weeks are at their best when the schedule is empty, 'cause He has one that is full of delight!

Tomorrow morning I am off swimming with a family from church and then... the world is His oyster. I'm sending it all straight back from whence it came, He takes much better care.

Sorry about all the parenthesis, they are my favourite punctuation (after exclamation marks!) but I should learn better grammar (and also write less late at night)...