Caught Out

David is on the way back to Wien and foolishly of me he knows I wrote a blog about him last week. (Confusion over fact I wrote one last month whilst there... I am not very good at hiding facial reactions.) The point is, the 'man hunt' story is sadly off and I am just hoping he will take it with the pinch of salt it was intended when he reads it. You'll have to email me privately to find out how the reconciliation is going! ;-)

I think it's OK really, he's pretty cool and I reckon the jokey intent will not be overlooked. Dave, I swear it was only meant to be ironic, the fact that I did spend all afternoon apparently trying to 'save' you was just the result of my standard self-obsession!

It was fun to have him stay, even though it rained like a bitch. [Note that we prayed for it to stop and by the time we were at Cinelac (open air cinema by the lake) it was clear and lovely with all those cool clouds and none of the water falling from them. See David, it does work!] That was an interesting experience, the cinema I mean, an utterly beautiful evening and locality and we watch "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead". If you like films with great casting and acting and an interesting plot-line sure go for it; if you want to leave the cinema with the hope of ever being happy again I would suggest seeing "Kung Fu Panda". Well, I haven't actually seen that but I can only hope that it would be slightly less depressing that the experience which started with disturbing graphic sex and ended with filicide. Nice. That said, it was a well made production.

Back to the word 'save'. Well, I was talking to a friend t'other day and we agreed that we do not like it; pas du tout. Can't speak for him as to why but I for one find it patronising to the extreme. I mean, I know that conceptually it is deeply biblical (and cool) but the contextual use nowadays seems all too often to be an "I am better than you who knows nothing and needs desperately to be rescued from your pitiful existence" judgment. You know what I mean? Anyway, maybe I am falling into a trap whereby I don't like words which are meaningful 'cause I am afraid of how they are taken but I prefer 'Reconciliation' and will be using that for the time being unless I am challenged otherwise. It just seems more descriptive of the relational aspect of finding God rather than the condemnation.

In other news, I finally got some sleep! Went a straight 12 hours last night and nothing 'busy' planned till Wednesday now. I really needed it. At least I acknowledged the fact and as I got tireder over the weekend stopped (a bit) and expected less of myself. Turns out God was in control and even though I didn't think too much about what I had to get done, it all worked out. That was nice.

Sometimes I'm not confident that things will work out but they do every time and as it starts to happen I always end up saying to myself "well what else did you expect? This is life now." Like on Friday eve when a group of 9 of us arranged to go for dinner somewhere without booking and when I turned up, there was no table available (obviously). It was panic mode 'cause everyone was en route and I was responsible for the whole affair; yet, I did not stress I just said "God, we need this sorted out fast, please" and 3 mins later we had somewhere in the same type of restaurant on the same street. Noone would even know! That may seem silly but I just think that God has even the details like that in hand. He wants us to be happy and blessed and not living a crappy existence. His plan is both small and big, Specially Relative as it were - each of my days are in His hands but I have a hugely exciting bigger picture too! It's a comforting feeling that, when I am living under His will, I'll never really get 'Caught Out'.

Friday was a great day. Lots of 'now things', that were even more fabulous than table reservations, being worked out (well, what else could I expect) as well as some exciting forward thinking and general rerealised gratitude for life. I drafted a post at the time but am yet to publish; keep an eye out but prepare to feel queasy!