Thursday, February 5, 2009

Suddenly I Don't See

I'm looking into an abyss. I've not given up per se but I can't see the end. This is partly 'cause all the arguments I had fell apart when I realised something terribly problematic with a very integral concept of my essay. That is to say, I was just plain wrong. I now have no point to make and, though the beginning and middle parts of my essay are actually very good and were coming together quite nicely, they say totally different things and leave me with absolutely no comprehensive conclusion. All from a seemingly tiny detail too, I didn't think overlooking that would be this devastating.

But I am laughing about it. Which is, I think, the most important thing.

Plus, it turns out that being under pressure and having my faith challenged makes me write a lot of music. I now have 6 songs about not doing my homework...!

The way I see it, the NHS are all about sorting out my throat asap and not so much about my head (though I cannot blame my lack of understanding on anything but my own capacity) so maybe this deadline is actually God's way of getting me to write my first album...! Jokes.

Though it is true that give me any sort of pressure to get something done and I will instead create. As long as the pressure isn't to do something specifically creative, 'cause that would be too easy.

Back to waiting for revelation. I went and caffeined up so I would be in it for the long haul and now I have all this energy and nothing to apply it to. Like, I really don't know what to do next... Ah well, maybe I'll write another song!

No comments: