This doesn't just apply to becoming famous and/or über important and/or getting a decent husband.
It also applies to getting my menial work done.
I may be wrong but I just can't see it happening before Friday. Like, I haven't got the capacity. We're not even talking time, which is as a nice straightforward one for God to sort out. I don't have the discipline or concentration let alone the intellect (I haven't established that one 'cause I've not studied enough to know).
Which is already completely subjective and arguable and really I just need to get my head down till it happens.
But yet I "can't".
And I really don't think that God is in the industry of pandering to this one. What with it being my problem and I am just sitting around waiting for God to make me work.
'Cause the thing is my deadline, my degree classification, even my career, really aren't very important in the grand scheme of things so I don't know where I get off expecting anything different. If I need to learn the hard way that I can't just do nothing and wait for intervention then I guess this is it.
Plus, as one friend said to me when I asked them to pray for my uni work, why? I don't deserve it more and why should God help me and not the guy I sit next to...?
Goodbye 1st. Goodbye Masters. Goodbye future of worldly acclaim. If I cannot earn them I don't exactly deserve them do I?
Hope after all is far more applicable to Eternal Life than temporal credit. If I believe in the first then why should I even care about the second...
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2 comments:
Some people have found deliverance helpful for things that they previously just couldn't seem to change - persistent negative patterns, "inherited" stuff, etc. There is faith beyond evangelicalism's narrow confines!
Zara
I totally agree that God can/does bring amazing instantaneous deliverance in things like that. Frustratingly though I feel that He often brings it over time and through struggles that lead to refinement. Like what is happening now, I'm having to persevere (hmmmm, fun) to gain the crown of life (James 1v12) and stuff like that.
It doesn't mean that I'm not free from the power of the negative patterns and yeah sometimes you have to have a "good pray" about something specific if it does have a hold but I don't think that it is often best for our characters to go from that to completely reformed. Isn't that part of the process of life and learning to rely on God in weakness?
I am a lot better than I was for negative thinking you see, but it feels like the case of "Little by little every day, little by little in every way, Jesus is changing me". Not that I am missing some key to wholeness, 'cause I already have the key, just that the unlocking is an ongoing process.
That's how I see it anyway. Not that I wouldn't love it to all stop now... but I think God probably knows what He's up do, darn it!
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