I will not blog, I will not blog, I will not blog

Oh OK, just a lil one.

I'm being quite good with working, like I stayed in the library till 830 pm today! But I am going rather slowly and I didn't get much reading done... more thinking and doodling and trying to form ideas amidst the clouds. I'm telling myself it's an integral part of the process.

Plus it's all I can do. I have a meeting tomorrow at 10am and it is yet to be shown whether all I can do is enough... so call me naïve but I'm taking the loaves and fishes approach. I am almost certain that I can't get this degree. I mean, I started a new course today (everyone else started Monday but I sorta forgot) and I didn't have a clue about any of the prerequisites. Likewise I went into Phil of Maths with no idea of what logic actually is (I don't mean by regular definitions, though that too) and this morning I suddenly found myself trying to split the "hypøplane"...?! Whatever. My point is, this is going to be a hard crowd to impress. My profs may not be 5,000 hungry Jewish men plus women and kids but they are pretty expectatious.

So I figure that I will simply have to not be good enough. 'Tis all. I'll do my small piece in faith and let God multiply it up to be something amazing.

The slightly concerning thing is that if it turns out God doesn't want to give me a degree based upon my faith in Him, I will have to be OK with that. Though I don't suppose He will let me take more testing than I can bear it would still be nice to do well. So I'm holding out for Zephaniah 3. "Honour and praise where I was put to shame". I know I can't just claim any passage in the bible for my own at a given moment but wouldn't it be cool if it was part of the purposes that God is working out now... Actually, maybe I can claim it as a promise?! Flag that!

Either way, I don't think there is anything else I can actually do. So as I relocate from Chaplaincy to Library to Starbs every few hours, in order that I don't get bored, let's hope my teeny tiny offer mixed in with all the sidetracking will be worth something.

Oh and I got a letter through from ENT - first appointment on the 10th Feb! Funtimes. Maybe I will be "singing and shouting aloud" sooner than I though... if He does manage to first "quite me with His love" :o)